Food today.

I'm doing well. I love my new grill! I made a tofu scramble burrito this morning with tumeric, cherry tomatoes, dried rosemary, and habenero sauce. Lunch was a spinach salad with bleu cheese crumbles and spicy hummus; and grilled veggies. I even grilled jalepeno slices. You may say I had a spicy kick today. So yeah I got on the scale and I'm 145. I was 150 for-ever. My goal is 122 in nine weeks. That's two months give or take. Is 10 pounds a month too much to ask? I think not if I quit something drastic like drinking. In my 20's I lost 7 pounds in a month by cutting out soda. I got on the treadmill today for 30 minutes, 20 on an incline. Yoga tonight is a more mellow version of Power Yoga, focusing on holding the poses rather than a fast flow.

Namaste,

Smobergirl

Day 5

I lost 5 pounds!

I lost 5 pounds since Christmas. Woooo.

Started to freak out a little. Images of a tarnished image at my old work dancing in my head. However I was a star employee for ten years. I said yes to 99%, was always there when needed, worked my butt off, didn't stand up for myself much against the other egos. Then I quit and turned into ex-employeezilla. I just need to go on. Dr. Lara told me when I got on her radio show via telephone when I was 14 regarding a friend cheating on another, "What are you going to do, put a bag over your head?" So that phrase has always stuck with me everytime I get into a pickle. And yes I just said pickle.

Yummy!

Okay now I feel better. I had a lamb and spinach fatayer at Mazza. This month is meat month, but cutting down or eliminating dairy. I have tofu at home for tofu scrambles on my new gril and griddle, and oatmeal for breakfast. Rice tortillas and asparagus and avocados and salmon and cherry tomaters and miso for lunch and dinner. I'll still eat out with precaution, with the exception of my weekly risotto , for now. I feel good. Not overstuffed. I feel relaxed. That dish was like mommas, so that was definitely comforting. And the meat here is local, which is also a comfort.

Stuff coming up.

I just finished yoga class #3 with one of my favorite instructors who is also a dancer. I can't get my old work out of my head and the guilt and anger magnified in my poor brain today. I know this is all going to disentegrate down the road. I know the first three weeks are the toughest. That's why I haven't been able to quit in five years! Ha. I do feel better than if I didn't do the yoga, even though I didn't sweat this time. It had it's tough moments, just no sweat today. I just can't wait until one month is over. Next week is gonna be cool. I have a TV appearance for a weekly music showcase, and I'm doing my top local 11 on my show Monday and I have one of my favorite bands from Ogden coming on.

Namaste,
Day four
Which sucks but could suck worse. ;)

Found

I got out of the shower and still had the demons of guilt in the back of my head. So I sat down on my bathroom mat, fatigued, to put on lotion and makeup which were both under the sink. Then I saw a felt bag under there. Oh ha ha it's a Crown Royal bag. I just realized that. My mom likes to put keepsakes in them and stash them away. They are actually nice bags for this purpose. So I grabbed it and there are all of these foreign coins and currency in there. Probably useless since the Euro took over eh? I'll have to inspect them. So also in there, was my high school class ring I've actually been thinking about three days ago! I had a baby bracelet and a watch face in there too. It was a nice find. The ring has drama masks and an alexandrite stone in it. I was always the drama geek. Then I went to a kitchen store and got a pitcher. I have two, but one is always for water, and the other has tea in it. I'd like one for my iced coffee. It's a Le Creuset and $25, which is less than one night of bingeing. Then I came home and found Robert Downey Jr. in my bed, I mean on In The Actor's Studio. For six months I've been thinking about him and his struggles with addiction. I kept thinking look at him. Look at this guy. He went to prison twice and look at him now. Well it gave me hope.

Namaste,

Smobergirl

Happy 2010!

Smober day 3, yoga day 2. My top is still wet. Two hours of power yoga in a room of 80-ish people mat-to-mat. It was fantastic. I feel so good and relaxed. Past anxiety and guilt is lurking in the back of my brain, but I'm hoping over time that will slowly be pushed out.

Lunch is a frozen pizza with soy cheese and spinach which I added cherry tomatoes, mixed greens, avocado, and hot sauce; two large spiced Italian olives on the side. Not bad. Now I'm staring at a pint of chocolate gelato. Lessee, one serving is....1/2 cup. I think I'll aim for 1/4. I can crave sweets, but I can't eat large portions which isn't healthy, but it's all about moderation. I tried to learn that with alcohol, but that's the exception for me. Bon appetit!

I reflect back to this day last year, and I said, "no wine or whine in 2009!" That lasted for about a week. Please stick with me and pray that I can finally get through this hurdle.

Hugs,

Smobergirl