Doing well.

Like, 1000000% better than my freak out last night. That's why they call it a 'demon'. I practiced my guitar, had a good lunch. Watching Food Network. I keep reading how diet is just as and even more important than exercise, but don't cancel moving. It's healthy to get out and about. It also releases those endorphins. Anyway, I'm being more aware of what and how much I eat. I still love the bangs, and I'm going to ignore the bullfrog chin (my hair here is strategically hiding it well) and just hope it will tighten up with time. The bod is looking better already, and my face looks healthier. In the rice tortilla is farmer's mkt mushrooms and spicy hummus with rosemary and thyme. Those are the shrooms in the bag. Caputo's has a small farmer's market every Saturday year round. So I'm going gluten and dairy free, a diet that made me at a healthy, skinny weight in the past.

I feel great. A little sleepy, but I'm hoping it's the weather. Naw it's probably the detox. ;) I have a sense of well-being and I keep thanking my lucky stars.

Namaste,

Smobergirl

Day 11

Mornings are so different than evenings. Like I said, I am relieved I didn't give in. If I did, I'd feel the same guilt and would wonder what I did if I blacked out. It's scary. I mean it would have been. Whew. Feeling more awake this morning but tired eyes. I went to bed after midnight, and I have been waking up around 8:45 lately. I'm still a little phlegmy and my throat is a little sore this morning. Could be the bad air.

So it's Rodney then Power Hour this afternoon. A local market has local farmers every Saturday. I'm going there in a bit. I'll make another tofu scramble and have 1/2 a grapefruit with agave nectar for breakfast.

Make it a great Saturday!

~Smobergirl

9 out of 90!

Jeeeeeeebus!!!! Tonight was a killer. Out of nowhere, I wanted to drink and smoke so badly. Then I ate, then they came back (they, meaning the $%@#! in my head) then I had a potato, then they came back, then I turned on Rodney and everything got better. Really. I just surrendered and relaxed all of the sudden. Silly brain. I did the forward bend segment, which is good for relaxation and looking 'inward' even though I didn't like what was in me at the moment.

My shirts and jeans are fitting better, but I look tired and haggard lately. I hope and assume that is temporary. My chin still bothers me more than usual. Maybe it's the withdrawals. I know I'm not gaining weight elsewhere. I just need to CHILL. I also coughed a lot this morning and tonight, but I don't know if it's the quit or the crappy inversion.

I am going to read then crash. Things will get better. Please let them get better.

~Smobergirl

Day 10

Okay, that gosh darn mother fudging madness is over. I went shopping and now I'm having a plain baked potato with bleu cheese crumbles. I got a spatula for the kitchen. I know I'm just going to thank my lucky stars tomorrow. I'm going to do Rodney Yee's forward bends tonight and another of his segments in the morning. In the afternoon I'm going to Power Hour, my favorite dancer instructor is teaching.

I finally put away the tinsel tree and all the Christmas stuff, and rearranged some furniture. Looks groovy and less congested, the living room.

Have a beautiful night and I'll see you mañana.

~Smobergirl
Day ten!

Freaking out. Craving bad. Drawing a hot bath. It sucks how you think you have it all together then the bastard sneaks up on you. Stuff is definitely coming out. I made a fantastic soba noodle dish with shrooms, spinach, shoyu, broccoli, ginger, and garlic. Very comforting. Hopping in bath now.

Thoughts...

...and food! I found a book I'm going to check out called Eat Your Way To Happiness. I know so far that salmon and spinach are key players to help you sleep easier. I am being much more aware of what I eat, and yoga is definitely an inspiration. I made a tofu scramble on my "Christmas" griddle (totally loving it [Cuisinart's Griddler Gourmet]), and berries with about an ounce of Greek yogurt (yogurt was added later). The scramble was awesome! I'm a genius. For spice and color I added turmeric and rosemary (the rosemary is so fragrant). For veg I added crimini mushrooms, avocado, and papadew peppers. Then I topped it with Hot Lips habanero sauce. Hot Lips is a string of pizza joints in Portland, Oregon. They make their own sodas from Oregon berries which you can order online, but you need to email them to request their hot sauces. It's worth it. http://shop.hotlipssoda.com/index.php/

I did a segment this morning from Rodney Yee's Am Yoga, which was so relaxing and fun. On the disc are five 20-minute segments of different areas: Standing poses, backbends, hip openers, twists, and forward bends. It's a nice change from doing a dozen sun salutations and lunges. I did the standing poses, and it was a great stretching/balancing class and good for the core (abs) too. It wasn't too easy nor too grueling. Rodney rocks. I would really like to do a retreat with him someday. I feel very zen this morning. The berries woke me up and brought me joy, and so did the lesson. On the DVD there is an interview with Mr. Yee and he expresses how much joy and calm you can get from yoga, and at anytime you can tap into the joy within yourself. I'm going to eat more fruit again. I unconsciously took a break from it and did not feel as happy. I'm serious! Fruit=happy food. I got a bunch of mandarins and a pineapple yesterday. And I have a couple of pomegranates I need to crack into. The seeds are excellent in a salad. I'm also eating more salad since my brother gave me that garlic dressing for Christmas. http://www.garlic-expressions.com/

Namaste,

Smobergirl

Yoga day 8

I went to Power Hour tonight, and it was all a blur!! Kidding. I didn't pass out, in fact I had a great time sweating. I was sluggish for about 20 minutes then BAM my adrenalin shot up. I don't think ARUP would condone putting pressure on my arm after donating, but heck yeah I took a risk, and I figure after ten hours it would be somewhat okay. I really wanted to go, and I was easier on the arm than usual.

Ten days sober in an hour and 18 minutes.

Bon nuit!

~Smobergirl

Doin it an' doin it an' doin it well!