Two Weeks!

Made it. I'm sorry about the angry post last night. More stuff came out and it was a hard one for cravings. Like I said before, I need to stop playing the victim, but how can people be like that and how can people like me tolerate it? I think most people have their blinders on and only want to see the good in people. You definitely need to love yourself and be happy before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. That is why AA recommends being sober for a year before dating.

So yay me two weeks! Feeling good and "normal". It's something I can't describe.

~Smobergirl

I'm finally getting over it.

That would be my old job. It is like getting over a relationship. In fact, I did have a romantic relationship similar to my old job. A job can be like a relationship, eh? But I broke up with them because I didn't feel respected, and I was there for ten years, even though it was in 6 and 4 year increments. That's not necessarily the truth. I don't know their side. Maybe I am melodramatic. However, I wasn't happy, I expected to go up when I went down. Had a hard time, drank my problems away, from them and bad romantic relationships. The things we do when we either don't feel appreciated, or when we disappoint ourselves. The guy, I met through friends setting me up. I wasn't interested and it seemed vice-versa, then a week later he started pursuing me. I fell for him a month later, then the tables turned. He said I wasn't a go-getter, and he wanted Tuesdays and Thursdays to himself. On top of that he kept old pics of his ex in a bikini, who was drop dead gorgeous. And when we first kissed he said, "I just want to have someone to do stuff with." There was another relationship I had who the man dated a hot Asian chick before me. When we first did the deed, here we are naked in my bed and he says, pointing to my belly, "How do you get rid of that?". Seriously. I stuck with him for three more years. Blinders. I think I just had no self-esteem. But I finally broke that off too. He's now married to a woman about my size, and he said in a recent email, "I treat her better from my mistakes with you." Gee, thanks. You'd think I'd be smarter, but no, I had freakin' stupid love blinders on. Kinda like the old radio station. They liked me around but I was hoping for something more. Blinders. It's also sad because there were several other employees not as fortunate as me wishing for the same thing. I wonder how they are feeling. So it ended just like the guy. He said there was never a spark, after a six month relationship, and I left but cried and had a grudge for almost a year. The station cut my hours to 10-midnight on Sundays and I left, feeling about the same, and it's been 8 months. I loved it there, but was sad at the same time.

So today the cloud just lifted. I need to let them go, and I don't care anymore. Sometimes it takes time to do that.

~Smobergirl

Two weeks tomorrow!

Pina Colada for breakfast.

It's a smoothie! Non-alkie, of course. I'll be two weeks smober tomorrow. Woot. I feel pretty good and my yoga bum is getting smaller!

Pina Colada Smoothie:

3 oz. chopped pineapple

1/2 banana, fresh or frozen

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 cup coconut water

5 ice cubes

In this case I froze some of the coconut water and used 5 coconut water ice cubes. Blend. Delish! I also made 2 egg whites and one yolk, but I didn't eat the yolk. I sprinkled herbs on and topped with Hot Lips habanero sauce.

One fish stick too many.

Here's that recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/everyday-italian/parmesan-fish-sticks-recipe/index.html

I had 1/2 of an Asian pear an hour before I had lunch, and it's true what nutritionists say about eating an apple before a meal: you won't eat as much! The soluble fiber in the apple turns into a 'jelly' in your belly and gives you a feeling of fullness. So after 3 sticks I was satisfied. I had to eat my salad anyway, then the last stick was just staring at me. I hate that. My 'fullness' scale is at a 10 though I don't feel like I have to roll around but level 7 or 8 is when you should ideally stop. I had 5 ounces of fish. According to my last nutrition class I should of had three. It's not horrible and I'm eating better (no-fat or no dairy and little gluten aiming for none of both), but I am really relaxed and a little sleepy (Too much EVOO and bread crumbs. Crunchy goodness.) And they are baked! Okay. No more whining or excuses. Need to concentrate on the quit, even though eventually I want to eat for energy for life. Members of AA have recommended eating more, smoking, or eating sweets...anything but no alcohol! However, I just want to be healthy during withdrawals without freaking out. The iced coffees and fruit/juices definitely help, and sometimes eating more seems like a good option, and if I do I try to make better food chioces.

Good Eats has a diet show which I'm watching right now. It's quite educational. Alton Brown lost 50 pounds and shows us how. He just made this amazing-looking almond snack on the show: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/ginger-almonds-recipe/index.html

In two hours I'll pop in a yoga DVD, then go to that meeting.

Namaste,

Smobergirl

Two weeks in two days biotches!

Day 12

Like my bangs this morning? I got a pompadour action going on. I did Rodney's backbends this morning. I have two other yoga DVDs which I'll do one later on today, and walk 20 minutes on the treadmill. I made a tofu breakfast burrito with papadums, mushrooms, rosemary, and arugula. I found these great little mandarin oranges that I've been eating the last couple of mornings. Feeling good. However I had trouble sleeping last night and went to bed around 1:30. I am going to an AA meeting tonight at a church I like. There are quite a few people my age that go to this one.

It is very important to take care of myself right now. I've been staying home a lot, which I'm actually digging. I think the cats like that, too. Make it a great Sunday!

~Smobergirl

12 days smober

11 yoga practices

Aw Mom!

She's making me watch The Bachelor. Granted she's 400 miles away, but she called. He's a looker and sweet guy though. I like The Bachelorette more personally. Or sometimes I'll just watch the very last show. Plus right now, and it's just me, I need as less drama as possible. LOL.

Tenth yoga class was Power Yoga with my favorite dancer instructor. Oh dear I have to change the channel. I had dinner, made soba noodles and mixed rice with avo, mushrooms, hemp seeds, flax powder, garlic, garam masala, soy sauce, and ginger. I have to admit I ate too fast. I think I'll go out for an iced coffee (no pre-made here) and just tell my mom that some of the girls were just too darn cheesy.

Namaste,

Smobergirl.

Day 11 smober!

Snack. Don't eat two hours before a yoga session. For me it makes or breaks my practice. I have 2 1/2 hours so I'm noshing on celery sticks and PB. This peanut butter has flaxseed in it, which can help prevent breast cancer. Binge drinking can contribute to it. Flax also has omega-3s, like in fish. It's a healthy oil. By the way I am still taking milk thistle to cleanse my liver.

It will be yoga class #10 today. 80 more to go!