Smokin' Joe he know.

Smokey had a near-death experience two days ago. His white blood cells sky-rocketed, the vet said it could be the big "C" word. He has spent the last two days on a catheter and IV at the vet. Then it got better and worse this morning. The cell count went down but then he got a fever and had a hard time breathing at the vet. Then...when I picked him up at 6 tonight he was actually moving, perky even, glassy eyes and sunken cheeks disappeared. He is now under the bed where he belongs. He has the IV in still with fluid running under his skin. He's eating like a horse. The doc does want him back in for one more day at least, then I'll probably play nurse on Sunday. However I am prepared for anything, he is an old man, and I become more comfortable with death the more I experience or almost experience it. If he died, I would not smoke or drink. I have come to the point where I know it won't make me feel any better. I still can't anyway on the Antabuse. I have a month left then I will probably renew for another six months. I haven't had a craving in weeks but I want insurance. Plus my new vice is honey, and honey pecan gelato from Ciao Bella. So back to Smokey. I got that phrase "Smokin' Joe he know" from a song called "Green Mind" by 90s band Dink. It's a one-hit wonder. So one of his nicknames I have for him is Smokey Joe He Know. Strange nickname, I know. He's still smokin' for now. I'll keep you posted.

Smobergirl
Day 180 in less than two hours.

I learned something today...

...I really did! Karma, totally. I learned how to sit down and shut up in yoga teacher training tonight. Ha, actually it was about loving yourself, which was exactly what I needed. The big thing that came up for me was people talking behind our backs, which of course that is what I was worrying about. In tonight's lecture we also learned about "energy vampires", whom we all probably know one or two of those. So that was cool. I have forgiven myself and I am completely at peace now. I was unnecessarily suffering in my own head. That's certainly not healthy. Neither is eating almost a 1/2 of a white rustic baguette. Bad idea. Emotional eating on the way to class may have taken place there...

Oh yeah we did learn actual teach training too. It was really fun cueing everyone in Surya Namascara B (that's a sun salutation) even though I forgot half of the Sanskrit words for poses. It's hard! So I'm reading up on those tonight and reading more of the Bhagavad Gita.

Speaking of white bread, I am doing the 40 days of personal revolution with a friend, and white bread is a no-no. It was so tasty with my 5 bean soup though. Okay no mas. :)

Smobergirl.

I feel totally mellow after 1tbs honey and a little plain yoghurt. Go Ayurveda. ;)

Like bees to honey

So, according to Ayurveda (we took a few classes at yoga teacher training) the best thing for my dosha type, which is Pitta, is raw honey. I can do that. I didn't realize how delicious honey is! I got this one at the farmer's market a couple of months ago. The worst thing for me is spicy food, since Pittas are already "full of fire". Which sucks, because that's all I eat. lol. I'm serious, I'm one of the biggest chili heads I know. Well, if ayurveda is serious business, and especially for yogis, then I am willing to cut back and see how I feel, see if it is important or mumbo jumbo. Until then I have no problem savoring spoonfuls of raw honey. :)

Smobergirl
177 Days

Stinkin Thinkin Pt. 2

I worry what people think of me. I am stuck on worrying that I ruined my reputation by sending hate emails and posts. I did it for about a year then it stopped last Spring. All of them were under the influence of alcohol. I remember having a text spat with an old co-worker and he wrote, "Put the wine glass down". That hit pretty hard. The thing is, I'm not normally a rude, psycho, hateful... and I have been kicking the dead horse for almost six months. I messed up, get over it. It actually helps to stop after distructive thinking and think what is actually realistic. Most of the peeps at my old job know, I think, that I don't lash out like that. But I was hurt and I was very drunk and so, in turn, I got very pissed off. It helps to get this out. Again thank you, the reader, for viewing my blog. I hope to influence you today to be aware of your stinkin thinkin of it happens to pop up in your head.

I am listening to Radio West on 90.1, and local artists Cathy Foy and SLFM are on. It will rebroadcast tonight at 7. For those of you who don't know, I have a local band radio show, I've hosted local broadcasts for a total of seven years. These two girls are very special, Cathy is one of the best drummers in Utah in my opinion and is coming out with a solo guitar album actually; Jessica (SLFM) plays a distorted ukelele with a pedal. Check the show tonight of you can.

All I can do is be present and keep doing what I do best, opinions aside. I need to think of my 18-year reputation instead of one year of going apeshit vengeful on the internets, correct?

Smobergirl
Yes it may be a stupid name to some of you, Bill B. Get over it. ;)

Better crash so I can make an 8 am yoga class. Need more asana for mood. Love and peace, Smobergirl

I am happy alone. The grass is always greener. There are benefits to being single and being with someone.