Instincts

I finished my first weekend of yoga teacher training. There are things I like and things I don't like. I had a feeling initially not to go into this particular program at the studio I am going to, but my mom was hasty in 'having me do something', she's paying for it, and I am grateful for that and I'll learn something and stay fit. I am trying to convince myself that I need it. However, when it gets into the 'astrology' and 'Swarma yoga', I personally think that part is mumbo jumbo. I wished the training was more the physical yoga, but it's a package deal. I sat for two hours chanting cross legged wishing someone would cut off my legs because I wasn't allowed to stretch them out. Pointing the feet at the instructor was considered inappropriate. I'm like, "What?" Yesterday we were taught to get out of bed in the morning on the side of which nostril is most open, and with that leg. I am not kidding. I know I will be struck by lightning in my sleep tonight now. I was just really uncomfortable knowing this training is not cheap, and this is what I'm learning. Again, it is the belief. I'll be fine. I'll let you know what I learn next weekend.

On a positive note, we did learn the physical stuff this weekend too, and pranayama, which are breathing techniques. Ayurveda is tomorrow, and I am interested in that as well, only if I'm allowed to stretch out my legs during the lecture. ;)

Thanks for letting me vent. I was a bit discouraged here and there this weekend. But it did not drive me to drink or smoke.


I made good shakes this weekend with raspberries and plums. Noshing on cashews and almonds. Lots of soup was eaten for lunch. Made spaghetti squash for dinner last night. I had a veggie wrap from the Whole Foods today.

Smobergirl
Day 168

What am I going to do, put a bag over my head?

I'm not going to lie. I'm depressed this morning. A guy I used to date Tweeted a little slam on the Smobergirl yesterday and I got the post in my "Mentions" column because he mentioned my username. Clever that Twitter. He was one of the victims of my drunken angry hormone rants and I totally deserve it. I did it three years ago, but I probably still deserve it. You can't turn back the past. I already apologized. I think I'm blowing things up again and thought I've ruined my reputation for good with him, my old job, and then some. I'm just not in a good mood. So I made this hearty cereal!

MACA
1/4 cup oats
1/4 cup buckwheat groats
Dash cinnamon
Chia
Flax
Hemp
Walnuts
Dried cranberry/pomegranate mix
1 fresh plum
Handful raspberries.

I also did some breathing exercises and tensed up my body and let go two times.

One of my yogi heroes Baron Baptiste Tweeted this today: "Take responsibility for your reality". Great. Well did I take responsibility for my actions? Is there any more apologizing I need to do? I did the damage. I thought I sent all the apology emails I needed to send. I just feel like I should do something else. Like wave a magic wand and make those actions disappear! j/k However, I think I blow most stuff up out of proportion, and that makes me "suffer in my own head". That's another quote from Rolf Gates, another modern yoga dude. In your reality are you going to beat yourself up all day, because you will only suffer in your head, and therefore in your life. What else am I going to do? (see headline) On a different note, you don't know how better I feel living a sober life. I mean, it's really a breath of fresh air. It is absolutely true, the longer you don't have alcohol (and/or other harmful substances) the more reasons you come up with for not wanting it. It does help having a healthy lifestyle. I start yoga teacher training tomorrow and I'm just excited to further transform my lifestyle. With the chaos that still creeps up once in a while to make me feel guilty I need to decide how it's going to effect me. That's good advice, but it's hard not to feel bad. I'm working on that. I am hoping the training will help me too.

~Smobergirl
Day 164

Brrrrr

Warmth and Grounded Shake it:

1 ginger knob
1 blood orange
3 black mission figs
4 kale leaves
1 tsp green powder
1 tsp maca powder
1 tsp chia seeds
1 tsp ground flax seeds
1 tsp hemp seeds
1/4 cup water

This is a very delicious one. Add more fruit if you think it tastes too 'green' or 'earthy'. I found a morning in-bed yoga routine on Youtube that was just 5 minutes long and got all the kinks out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVIzvsHLFfg&feature=related

Also here's a simple morning sun salute that looked good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeL3IvG4iJI

I feel good and warm after my shake. The burning sensation of the ginger is nice for cold days. I am going to a Bikram class with a friend for the first time since college tomorrow. I'll give you a full report. Teacher training starts Friday!

Smobergirl
Day 163

Why don't bagels give me the same energy as shakes?

Why Why? You know, now I am 'hooked' on making these shakes, and I feel crappy if I don't have one in the morning. They make me feel that good.

Yesterday's Shake It:

Orchard shake~

Grapes, handful
1 apple
1 Celery stalk
1 Ginger knob
4 kale leaves
Chia, maca, flax, hemp
1/4 cup water

Maybe the Winter weather and staying up late is contributing to the tiredness. I ate more grapes and a bartlett pear to try and make up for the Black Market Bagel. www.blackmarketbagels.biz. I also took a maca capsule.
I sure loved the storm last night. I had insomnia again and I was up watching it from 1:30 to about 2:30.

Lunch: Cooked spaghetti squash with olive oil, sea salt, cracked pepper, Buzz In A Bottle, and herbs from my patio garden; catnip, oregeno, valerian, and rosemary. Buzz In A Bottle is concentrated cayenne from a guy in Park City. Gotta love the locals!

Speaking of, gotta get to my show. I still have a cough but I'm taking it easy. I made my own loop or infinity scarf by sewing up an old regular scarf I have. Voila, I have everything I need. Notice my sunflowers are dying. They were beautiful while they lasted!

~Smobergirl
Day 161

I have everything I need.

Can't sleep, clown will eat me. Simpson's reference. My adrenalin was up and I took a hot, long bath and I'm just chilling in bed with my laptop.

Even better still, when I got into the venue lo and behold I chose to stand right by a guy I've been thinking about for the last week because I want a part-time position at his work whilst I take my yoga teach training. Cutting in line was my mistake and I'll get over it, and if I didn't I wouldn't had run into my friend. Yeah the couple were extremely irritated with me. Man were they ticked off. I was totally busted. I did think it was charming though when they said, "Get back to the end of the cue!". Speaking of the British, I am now hooked on the comedy "Doc Martin". Always a fan of Britcoms. Most of them anyway. The Young Ones, Monty Python, Are You Being Served, and the talk show Graham Norton I'm a huge fan. Just don't piss the British off. Just kidding. That's not very yogi-like of me.

"George: You tell those pigs to fuck off. Archie: Fuck off, pigs." ~A Fish Called Wanda


Smobergirl

All mixed up

It's still a good day, I just got confused and embarrassed while in line for the Jonsi concert. I was waiting for about 30 minutes when an employee told those who ordered tickets online to go up front. I did, but I needed a print out which I didn't have. Duh. I already lost my spot in line. I didn't use common sence and skipped the line when a bouncer told me to. Moron. Me and him. I proceeded to get yelled at by an angry British couple. A good looking man behind them said I can stand in front of him, then I said it wasn't fair and I went to the back red-faced. Then the hormones kicked in and tears just started streaming down my face. Either it was stuff coming out, chemical imbalance, or just being a sensitive idiot. I am a crier. Then it turned into something good, because the girl behind me was raving about a local band I hve not heard of to her friends. So I wrote it down. Maybe they're good. Lesson learned. I'm cool now. For the record, there are a lot of good looking guys here. Feeling tons better with said eye candy. Show should start soon.

Smobergirl

Om namah shivaya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0xo4TIfiOY

Yoga teacher training starts in one week. I was questioning myself if I am actually qualified but my friends think otherwise and therefore I have better confidence about it now. Importantly I will keep busy. A cute singer friend of mine did it and had a ball.

I'm making progress with my "I have all that I need" mantra. I ate all of my meals at home, created new outfits out of my closet to wear this weekend to several events. It's going to be a fun weekend. I'm going to Jonsi, and I'm going to rock that. Then I have two birthday parties on Saturday, one at a restaurant and one at a bar. The bar B-Day girl knows I don't drink so if I wanted to slip out early I think she won't mind so much. Then Sunday I scored free tickets to the opera from my friend who runs Vivace. I'm on the board and she's not going and happens to have tickets to it. It's a classic and I wanted to go so badly. There ya go. The stars smiled upon me. Now I need a date. Should I call that guy and see if he wants to see it twice? j/k

I finished the soup I made (those frozen mushrooms from Harmon's, amazing by the way, and cheaper than fresh) and polished off the curry and rice. I am maintaining a healthy 133 pounds. I look younger and my face is clear and looking good for 39. I mean 29. I want to google alcohol and external body benefits of quitting. I want to see if I dropped weight because of it, or if it was just the shakes and not eating out as much; or both.


Smobergirl

Day 158