Love and soup

Well it's been a while! I slipped and have been in the dumps lately, but it hasn't effected my diet, AND I'm back on the Antabuse as of today. My insurance doesn't cover it anymore but I can tell you $153 every month compared to $400 of wine and cig money, it's less than half the price, and it can save my life and reputation. No money amount should matter when it comes to your life.

That said, I'm still on the smoothie train and I am sad that I can't get to lemon spinach until next June. Boo hoo. However I'm still cranking out the watercress tangs and pineapple-cilantro smoothies. It's also pomegranate season and I throw the seeds in. Drinking alcohol can effect your bladder, so I'm also adding cranberry capsules to my diet. I lost more weight but I haven't been working out so I take the stairs and clean the place more, etc. I did do an ab video I absolutely love. There's six two-minute-ish videos you do on fitnessmagazine.com. Back to the diet, it's soup time and I've been eating tons! Still up with the salads: kale, butter lettuce, baby spinach, arugula, and romaine. I pick one then put brewer's yeast on it with a little lemon juice and dulce flakes. I'm also now 'addicted' to sea salt and avocado on toasted slices of Ezekiel Sesame bread. Try pink, grey, or black medium-grain salt, it gives it a little crunch.

What kept me out of trouble was working temporarily every morning at ten. Then I went right back into trouble when it ended. For me, something to physically stop me is the only thing that works. I'm also grateful that Antabuse has no side-effects for me. During the job if I craved I would get a frozen hot chocolate and eat 1/4 to 1/2 of it. Getting one tonight thanks very much. The thing is that I have to stop being ashamed and feeling worthless. Like I said before, people don't have to understand. Usually only alcoholics understand other alcoholics. And don't blame your family for getting the gene either. They probably struggle(d) as much as you do.

I'm doing better and I need to let the bad stuff go. I know I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggone it...

Smobergirl

Day one.