Walnuts fight depression and are great for memory. They do look like brains...

I just read on beachbody.com that walnuts help fight depression and are good for memory. They do look like brains...

Day 500!

Woot! This calls for a celebration. For one, given the events that have been happening, I need to chill out. I think I was getting impatient with some things. I am healthier than ever, skinnier than my college days, and I have tons of energy. I feel that I'm not appreciating life as much as I should, and I'm stuck in 'woulda coulda' land. I also think I went nuts on the sugar this Summer because maybe I've been so good for a year without it. Maybe the sadness and occasional tiredness is from the sugar? I also want to start going to bed, or try, by 10 again and maybe waking up at 6. But, I deserve a huge pat on the back for being sober and smoke free for 500 days!

Breakfast: The Emperor's Tea (green tea kit), Fage 0% with chocolate 'healthy' granola and 1/2 mango, chia, and maca. It was a little too filling and I could taste the 'evaporated cane juice'. Hold on I need to google something........hmmmm it's not as refined as table sugar and has trace minerals, but it's not too different. I don't feel nearly as good as after drinking a home make smoothie. I think the other mango 1/2 will be in a shake tomorrow morning. I've been staying up late die to dates (ooh la la) but waking up after 9 or even 9:30 and not feeling nearly as good as when I was going to bed early and getting up at 7-7:30.

Well I should still be proud. Yay! What a year and almost 1/2. How time flies. Celebration should be taking care of your bod. Maybe I'll get a facial! Maybe I'll go skating in the park. Love to oneself and to others, or a 'reward' should be a healthy choice. Not boozing up in a club or a piece of cake.

My goal for this week: No sugar or stress.

Love,

Smobergirl

Day 500!

Sweet and buzzed

Okay maybe I was a bit dramatic last night and I'm cool now about the new editor sitch. I now want to start on the coffee and sugar issue. I thought I'd only be attached to both for about 6 months to a year after I quit drinking and smoking, but this Summer has been pretty bad and I'm feeling sluggish, even with all of the "Insanity", yoga, and hip hop. Some of the oils and fats in sweets can clog or break arteries, resulting in a struggling heart and irregular heart beat, which I've experienced both including heart palpations within the last month. I also got on new vitamins and I wonder if those could be the culprit. I'm back to vitamins that I'm used to (Women's Raw). Yeah scary. So my sweets of choice now are Fage 0% with no sugar granola or naked oats and buckwheat, nuts, fruit fresh and dried, frozen coconut milk desserts, coconut, and cacao nibs. I also have been shunning the kale and greens lately so those are back. Hey it was a phase! :) I had a pineapple cilantro shake with ginger, maca, chia, lemon water, ice, and flax for breakfast. For lunch I made zucchini 'noodles' with raw marinara, chopped hazelnuts, avocado, and hemp seeds. For dessert I had Fage 0% with chocolate granola, dried cherries, and freeze-dried strawberries and bananas.

I am watching Drs. Andrew Weil and Deepak Chopra on Dr. Oz now. Chopra said that 1-4 cups of coffee are okay. Well then. What to do, because Dr. Oz said in a newsletter 2 years ago that you can lose 10 pounds from switching from coffee to tea because of the coffee acids produce cortisol in the body. He also said an hard boiled egg a day is good for the brain. Both are controversial foods. I was proud of myself yesterday that I made my own iced coffee at home with vanilla extract. I only had 1/2 a 16 ounce iced coffee today. I did my Hip Hop Abs and that always makes me drink tons of water, during and after. However later on that same Dr. Oz program Chopra gave alternatives to caffeine. I mean that's cool. That's good for the Mormons in town. Drink a glass of warm water in the morning and massage your earlobes and forehead with coconut or sesame oil. I just love coconut oil. Eat your main meal at lunchtime. Drink ginseng tea at lunch. My dad used to swear by ginseng tea. At night drink lemon juice, ginger root, and honey with water.

My tiredness can also be explained by going to bed too late and waking up at 8 or 9. It's better to be in bed by 10 and wake up at 6. Not only did this Dr. Oz TV special say that but so has my yoga teacher training instructor.

So with the coffee thing I got more Teechino and just mixed 1/2 that with 1/2 coffee. It's progress.

Wokout: Hip-Hop Abs Dance Party. Heeeeey!

Smobergirl
Day 499

Comedy

Maybe I don't need to reset the link between my computer and my iphone. However long texts don't seem to get posted.

Bandit sure knows how to cheer a gal up. I drew a hot lavender bath and as I got in and started to relax from my cry over what a crappy writer I am (and I am just a pretty voice, I can't speak eloquently or write well apparently) he makes the biggest poop of his life in the litter box. It's like "no, you are not allowed to relax". It was pretty funny. That, or I'm totally sick.

I'm a radio DJ, I'm not a journalist. To be told to edit my own articles with a fine toothed comb, as a non-writer, was not fair. What the heck is an editor's job anyway? No, not bitter at all. Yes I had a frozen hot chocolate this late, don't piss me off!


:)


Night,

Smobergirl

Testing...Yeah I'm trying the text again. Maybe I need to reset the link.

Sadness.

For one, my texts aren't being posted! Ha ha. I'll just have to stick typing on the ol' Macbook here.

I'm doing the stinkin' thinkin' again. All of my life I could cry at the drop of a hat. Then I beat myself up for being sensitive. Maybe I just want to be perfect all of the time. I freelance for a local paper and I just read an email from the music editor that I'm basically a difficult writer, and that I need to edit my stuff with a fine-tooth comb. I just don't want any conflict but I feel like a shitty writer now. This is a new editor and the last one had a few issues with me, whereas the very first music editor I worked with didn't say a darned thing, he just edited my articles, like an editor. So yeah I freaked out a little, because I didn't think I was crap until I was told as such. People suck. Now I have a cat butt in my face. What's a girl to do?

Breakfast: Fage 0% with granola, blackberries, chia seeds, flax seeds, wheat germ, and buckwheat groats. One cup of The Emperor's Tea.

Lunch: 3 ounces poached salmon and 2 ounces of mashed sweet potatoes. Four moroccan olives. 3 ounces of hummus. One cooked carrot. 10 watermelon balls in balsamic vinegar. The mashers, salmon, and carrot are leftover from Tin Angel yesterday.

I don't want to nor can drink or smoke (Antabuse doing it's magic), and surprisingly I don't want a huge frozen hot chocolate from Hatch's, but I am in the dumps!! The bright news is that I'm going out with someone to a country show tonight and I'll probably forget that I'm a sucky writer by the time Kris Kristopherson sings his first note. Do you think I'm a sucky writer?

Smobergirl

Still smober on day 498. 500 days soon, yay. I'm still fricking depressed.

And that's the thing, do I have a chemical imbalance? Do the drugs make me sad? Is it the loneliness? Is it because I'm not with a corporate company anymore and some aren't caring for me as much that's getting me down? Am I burnt out and can't handle any criticism at age 40? I'm not mad at this editor but I can't stop the tears today. Bandit's fluffy butt does help though. ;)

An experiment in food.

I got some non-GMO chicken breasts and tried a panko baked recipe from the Food Network's "Down Home With The Neelys", a BBQ show, and this was a 'healthy' special. They used eggs for the wash but I don't have any here, so I looked up a substitute and found a site that suggested bananas. Hmmm. I mean mmmm! The chicken is so juicy! There is a slight hint of banana, but it really goes well with the garlic, smoked paprika, honey, dijon, and hot sauce that you put in the mixes, there's a wet and a dry. I feel healthy and happy. I served it with a 'kitchen sink' salad (whatever's in my fridge) of bok choy, farmer's mkt cherry tomatoes, red bell pepper, cucumber, flat leaf parsley, and avocado with honey vinegar. Picture to come, My camera cord has a short in it. Boo. The dijon gives the chicken a white wine flavor, which I really enjoyed (the flavor not the buzz). I have no desire whatsoever to drink or smoke. The craves still come some nights but I fast-forward in my head to the morning after. That usually does the trick still. Uh-oh now I'm a bit sleepy. I'd say this would make a nice dinner and not an energizing lunch. The salad would, most definitely. I like the bright red bell pepper, which has vitamin C. The honey vinegar is local and I got it at Caputo's. Reminds me of Greece. The Greeks seem to put honey in everything.

Breakfast: Fage 0% with buckwheat groats, walnuts, blackberries, currants, maca powder, and chia seeds.

Yesterday I did Insanity core cardio recovery (Recovery? LOL It still made me sweat), and yoga teaching last night. I'll walk the treadmill in a second and do the 'recovery' again today later. It's Insanity Recovery Week time. Meaning your thighs burning up in flames but less intense cardio.

I also have my guitar lesson, which I am looking forward to, and a fun art/music night.

Smobergirl

Day 494, and I've saved over $5000. What what!

16 Months!

I think it's about time for the no-coffee experiment. I still can't pull myself away from it. Sounds familiar, but at least it doesn't impair my judgment. Ha. I had more anxiety after one today, but I was stressin' over some things late last night. I was bawling like a baby, actually. Stuff definitely came out. But I do have all I need. Great now I'm tearing up, and I think I've made myself ill.

I have that ghost over my head from burning the bridge over the old place I worked at. Does that even matter? There was a truth in how I felt but was that valid playing the victim? I just wanted to be respected and have fun at a job I loved, is that so wrong? I felt that I gave everyone else respect then when I left I unplugged the cork, literally. Hey that's kinda funny. I teach yoga and tell everyone else to let go of their fears. And why should I expect respect from my old job? The media is ego-laden, alcoholic-laden, and competitively-laden in the first place. I'm going to do some breathing exercises then take a hot bath.

#2 stressor: A boy. Yeah, yeah.

#3: Money. Which is fine now but again, I am "nowhere" and "now here" is where I should be, in the present and not worrying about the future. It will actually be a good process for me to prepare and start investing properly.

This is why I blog. I hope to receive advice as well as give it. Life should be about sharing. I just wish I didn't make myself oofy.

Food was fun on a budget. Really, I'm not being sarcastic.

I roasted the rest of my thawed, frozen shrimps according to a Barefoot Contessa recipe. There's no cocktail sauce but I have a Moroccan catsup I mixed with hot sauce. Then I had guac ingredients and got my frustrations out in my mortar and pestle. I have a hot house cucumber but it tastes weird. No I'm not pregnant. But I make a fantastic guacamole. I seriously need to box the stuff. Awe kitteh wants to play fetch! Bandit is a miracle. Pets know when you're feeling crap-tastic.

So that was lunch, and breakfast was a raspberry and Amazing Greens shake preceded by iced coffee. Like I've said many times with the drinkin' and the smokin', I want to stop this. I really want this experiment. And that coffee scrub I made instead of drinking it, so awesome!

Smobergirl

Cardio gooooood.....

I'm now addicted to doing a Hip-Hop Abs DVD almost every day. Since I started rotating that with Insanity, a week later my arms are getting more cut and I feel thinner. What I wanted was for my 'fat arms' to disappear and cardio with light weights and push-ups are doing the thang. I can't be happier in my body right now, and what's really amazing is that I can breathe deeper, literally. I'm absolutely sure that not smoking also does the trick, but since I've been doing sweaty cardio for five weeks I feel like my lungs are stronger and bigger. I don't know if they are actually bigger, but my breathing capacity has gotten bigger. I breathe differently. It's pretty amazing. Like Ash says in Fantastic Mr. Fox, "I'm an athlete", when he really isn't until he proves such at the end of the movie. That's how I'm feeling.

Love,

Smobergirl

Day 489 and 16 months quit

I love the Germans and I think I love the Italians.

I'm 1/2 German anyway, and I finally opened up a tiny box containing chocolate sprinkles that I got at a restaurant in Venice, but the brand was German. I got it as a condiment for breakfast to put on buttered toast, but I stashed it in my backpack instead and took it home. I put it in non-fat Greek yogurt with pineapple chunks, pecans, and coconut flakes. That was dinner. It's my time O' month and I either get ravenous or not hungry at all. Working out every day seems to do that too.

So I lucked out yesterday morning for Black Friday, excuse me Target Tuesday, and showed up with only three other girls waiting at the door at 8 am for the Missoni collection debut, which ended up on the news talking about how some stores sold out in three minutes, and over 1,500 items ended up on eBay for about twice as much. Somehow I didn't feel satisfied anymore, but I should feel however I want to, and I did luck out and got some nice fall clothes, a candle, a gift box I'll use for Christmas, and a cosmetic bag. I even was proud that I got a girl's dress that makes a super tank top. I posted some of my findings on FB and of course one guy gets on there saying how evil Target is, another talked about how the website crashed and another talked about eBay. I learned to be the observer in my life because who can we control? Ourselves. I won't get wrapped up in drama. I will enjoy my made-in-China clothes by a famous Italian designer. I think I'm pretty good at being guilty, and I need an attitude adjustment. Plus I'm PMSing. You know I got off the Depo-Provera last year so my periods have only been back not even that long. I had to ask a girlfriend what her favorite, erm, feminine product was because mine were very uncomfortable. I fixed that by her recommendation (Playtex Super-Slims BTW) and everything on that end is groovy now.

Everything should be a step-forward lesson, and not a set-back regret. How many hyphens can-I-put-in-this-post? So that made me think why don't I get that clothing-exchange party together I've been thinking about for two years? And if I need something, the second-hand shops could use some business. And hey, I've haven't been to Pibs Exchange in forever, why don't I hit that and find a cute Halloween costume? Yes early. So I did. Check. Sexy wolf. It's also warm! Practical AND sexy.

So I learned to be grateful no matter what. Karma is still on my side being sober and I got some hot-ticket items without fighting ladies at Target and having to wait in a huge line. The costume fit like a glove and I feel so confident in my new body. Clean and healthy feels pretty darn good. Oh come on it was just a tablespoon of sprinkles. At least I can get away with that now that my bod's a FURNACE! Tee hee.

Breakfast: Fage 0% Greek yogurt with my friend's granola, chia seeds, and wheat germ
Lunch: 1/2 avocado, baked sweet potato fries with dijon mustard and wing sauce. 5 teeny cucumbers made for gerkin pickles that I found at at farmer's market, in the wing sauce. PMS is not really any different from being pregnant really.
Dinner: Fage 0%, pineapple chunks, coconut flakes, and German chocolate sprinkles.

Smobergirl

Day 485. 1 year and four months on the 17th.

Bonsoir.

I'm in bed. I had fun at the Craft Sabbath monthly deal at the library. I didn't work out all day and started to actually feel mentally crappy, so around 7 pm I walked incline on the tread for 20 minutes and now I feel great! See you don't have to go 'insane' to get those endorphins up. Drinking worked because it raised my dopamine levels, now exercise does the same thing. I'm going to Zumba tomorrow with a friend who's never done it before. I also had another buddy at the craft thing say that she's influenced by my good behaviors, and half of the crafters(I know just about all of them) want to take my yoga class! I was kinda floored. So I need to make business cards. Also thanks to FB everyone knows I do Insanity. Is that a good or bad thing? Well I am telling the honest truth, I'm getting more pats on the back than I expected. And it feels pretty amazing.

Breakfast: 1/2 cup Fage 0% Greek yogurt with 1/4 pineapple chunks and granola my girl friend made.

Snack: Greek Frappe (8 ounces) and an almond cookie from the Greek fest. I do not feel guilty one bit thanks very much.

Lunch: 1/4 cup quinoa with raw marinara and 5 kalamata olives (notice a theme?)

Dinner: Portabello sandwich with chevre and roasted red bell peppers, mixed green salad with red grapes from Wild Grape Bistro.

Hot tea from The Emperor's Tea.

I am going back to not eating 2-3 hours before bedtime. It does help me sleep better and I keep reading (and have personal proof) that you'll become slimmer.

Workout: 20 minutes incline walk, P.M. yoga.

I still need to model that dress for you.

Smobergirl

Results!

I have to admit, I mixed in Hip Hop Abs with Insanity this week, but I am so much more confident about my body! It is rewarding if you just do it, like Nike says. I'm half-way through. I was getting pretty 'bored' I thought of jumping up and down every day. I wanted something fun so the hip hop was good for my soul, and it actually made me laugh! That's good medicine right there. But, what should I do. It's four more weeks (Insanity) of an even harder work out. I'm a pretty indecisive gal. If I don't do it I might strangely feel guilty. If I do I can always go back to dance work outs. HOWEVER, the important thing is I am more confident when I sweat every day. Like my step-mom said when I first quit drinking and smoking, "Yoga's nice and all, but why don't you get a punching bag or do kick boxing?". Jumping around really, really helps my mood! I'm seeing physical results and I feel damn sexy. My butt is rounder, I feel better about my arms almost to the point of not caring, and my torso is shrinking. I have a 2-pack, and I have this cool, tight feeling when I suck it in, like I'm getting more solid. I have a BCBG dress that used to be tight and I looked a little round in it. I wore to the opera on Friday, and not only is it a little big on me now, but I look really flattering in it.

Well I have to go to a craft event, I'll be back and maybe I'll show you the dress. It's absolutely true, exercise and diet are the magic bullet.

Smobergirl

Day 482

No desire to drink or smoke whatsoever.

You say tomato.

I went to the Tuesday DT farmer's market and this tomato guy just kept raving about his different species, so I bit and got a pretty great variety.

Insanity burnout happened, so I did Hip Hop Abs with the same host Shaun T for 3 days. I did Insanity today. Hip Hop Abs is a blast, and I still broke out in a sweat. Of course it was more fun, but I felt like it helped my coordination too. Some of those moves are fast! I was happy with it. Sure I want the Insanity t-shirt, and I'm almost halfway there, but I really wanted a break. It's a hard hot tamale! Just knowing that I'm not bingeing anymore is a reward. I lost 25 pounds alone by quitting alcohol and eating crazy smoothies in the morning. No Insanity required, the workout I mean. Hardy har har. I love to dance, and I wished I started Zumba or hip hop or something earlier for my mind. I even like kick boxing.

I had a chat with my step-mother today, and things haven't changed with women and anorexia, in fact it may be worse. I was on an online store's size chart yesterday and they listed a size 00. 00! Please tell me that's genetic. The waif or yoga body is pretty trendy right now, especially Urban Outfitters ads. Those gals are pretty thin. I do go there quite a bit, but the ads are another thing. American Apparel is similar. Sorry to point fingers. I am going to stop looking in the mirror and poke and prod at this or that on my body. Health has made me look better, and I still, like many women, have a complex. That's not fair. I say health along with confidence is the new skinny. Moving in any form gives me confidence, and eating well most of the time. I like taking care of my bod. Speaking of the smoothies, I made an after-dinner one. It's pretty fancy:

1 scoop chocolate Amazing Greens powder (which has maca and flax already in it, so I didn't add those)
1/2 packet frozen acai puree
1 tbs goji berries
1/4 cup black currants
1/4 cup blueberries
1 cup cold water
1 tsp chia seeds


YUM! It's also very pleasing to the eye.

Take care of your body and it will take care of you. Throw the notion out the window that you have to be uber thin. Hey who didn't have a crush on Seth Rogan right? And he's a confident-looking cutie to boot. So is Zach Galifianakis, Jack Black...okay so those guys may have been unhealthy looking, but they have I hope confidence, and definitely a sense of humor. Hey I know Seth is looking more svelt, and he's no Jude Law. Okay I'm finished but I'm saying if you are active and eat right, you should feel good. Don't be upset that you're not a 00, which I hope doesn't become the new 0 I hope to God!

Love,

Smobergirl
Still kicking at day 477

Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion.

I have managed to give myself a complex over the years and wear what I think guys would like. True story. This would be, what I've read and seen in the mags of course (those dreaded magazines :), especially the "His opinion" columns, to wear minimal makeup, absolutely no wedges or mock turtlenecks, no short shorts or jeggins, and no sequins or clothing 'bling'. You know it is funny. I have been teasing my friends that when I'm 60 I'll be like Bette Midler in Beaches and embarrass myself with outlandish mumus and pink hair on vacation, and I'll peroxide my hair, drive a Jag convertible, and only wear white and leopard print, with the sequined ball caps. Who knows, that is 20 years down the road. Time to start a Jaguar fund jar.

However I do own a pair of new lime-green corduroy wedges from Toms which I think are fun and comfortable, I don't wear a lot of makeup but once in a while I'll bust out the turquoise liquid eyeliner, and I'm keeping my jeggins for slipping into boot-ease this Fall and Winter. I just decided to wear what I like. WOW what a concept. Geez, we live and learn. Oh and for the record I do have two sequin tops, and you know I wasted them all Summer except for one crummy date and my cruise. Didn't you know that it is required to bring at least one sequined top on a cruise?

Love,

Smobergirl

P.S. Healthy Salty Crave Tip:

Sprinkle cucumber (Persian and hothouse are best) slices with sea salt, cayenne salt, or drizzle with BBQ sauce. Trust me on this one.

The condimentrum

I'm a big foodie, and you know I had an ice cream problem all Summer, but I am starting to minimize. I don't want to eat lentils all day, or egg whites and naked chicken breasts. I want to eat clean and feel gourmet at the same time. I ate no dairy yesterday, and today I am using no or tiny amounts of sea salt (naked egg white for breakfast with a smoothie instead of the usual waterfall of ground sea salt) a tablespoon of marinade instead of a 1/2 cup, and 'forking' dressing on my salad. I realized a little goes a long way, and I can actually taste my food! Ha ha. Remember that commercial "Don't Drown Your Food"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfEG15CLTqo&feature=related

Inspired from Melngalis' book I made a smoothie with coconut water, pineapple, orange, ginger, kale, flax, hemp, chia, maca, and gooseberries. I got a bunch of currants and gooseberries from the farmer's market so I'm trying to use them up quickly. I also had one egg white like I mentioned. For lunch I made Di Laurentis' arugula and grilled fruit salad without the grilling part, my grill pans are in the washer. I think the salad is great either way, and I sprinkled on some hemp seeds. They are crunchy, and a great compliment to just about any salad. I also had zucchini 'noodles' with marinated portabello (1 tablespoon Bragg's aminos, chopped garlic, and chopped ginger), avocado, and yellow tomato.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/everyday-italian/arugula-salad-with-grilled-fruit-recipe/index.html

I taught yoga and did Zumba yesterday and muscled through the thigh-burning Insanity Cardio Recovery and finished with yoga today. I definitely want more water since I started the program 18 days ago. I can't believe it's been that long already. Yeah, I look better. I gained 5 and not 10 pounds (scale wasn't set right) and the manual said not to rely on the scale. So there. But I'm still trying to eliminate dairy again or minimize it. I still am on the coffee, but I'm drinking less. I know that issue has not been resolved yet. My arms and legs are toning up, and my abs are already looking better. I feel my 'top' looks bulkier, growing out stage? Bigger shoulders? Uh, the copious amounts of cold creamy desserts? I still feel confident and I just feel good after I finish the DVDs, Zumba, and yoga. I'm thrilled that Insanity has yoga moves in each workout. I have a dance background and want more fun sometimes, so I bought Shaun T's (the Insanity dude) Hip Hop Abs. I know I'm on the infomercial wagon.

Smobergirl
Day 473