Went to a pretzel-ing yoga 1-2 class today. Fun though and sweaty!!

Write down your ideas!

Dangit. I swear I had two brilliant ideas for paintings last night right before bed. Now they are gone. :(

Great day so far!

For one, I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time in about 4 weeks and I seriously took a double-take and checked to see the needle was at zero when I was off of it. Another ten pounds are gone! Off of me!! In another month! That's about 17 total. Holy crap. Had to throw that one in. The shakes are to blame, leading for me to cook more at home and eat less. Granted, on day 98 I ate 1/2 a round loaf of farmer's market bread and a wedge of cheese because I had that fierce wine craving out of nowhere, but I haven't done that in years and it really didn't seem to make an impact since I ate like a rabbit the rest of the day. I have hardly eaten any dairy either in the past month or so.

Then I had my last session with my holistic therapist. It was great until she asked me if I wanted to continue so she can help me start my own business helping others and I can make six-figures a year. Red light? I personally had a weird feeling about that. Yeah we all want to make a buck, but it was kind of a sad, sour note somehow. Know what I mean? I just want to have a new lifestyle, feel better, and help others if they ask....for free. But if someone offers money or lunch... ;) Oh no Giada is cooking with proscuitto again. This is an occasional weakness of mine. I actually have a Caputo's home made sausage in the fridge. Guilty. I had a European crave and got a baguette, the cheese wedge I mentioned earlier, green oives, and a 1/2 spicy cured sausage. But now I am a healthy hippie of course I had to have sliced tomato with it, to make myself feel better. I have about 4-5 slices "coins" of sausage at a time. I still have a good amount left. And I dip it in ground mustard. Hey, I'm half German! Lately I've been having the shakes for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and more of a snack for dinner like that. If I want something sweet later I'll have berries and/or Ani Phyo's raw puddings I make at home. It's water, cashews or almonds, dates, and cacao nibs or coconut in a blender. I noticed there is a lot of cashews in raw recipes. I'm eating all the raw nuts I want and apparently I lost a chunk of weight! Mind you they are raw, unsalted, un-oiled, un-roasted nuts. They iz gud 4 U.

Then I made this crazy salad I just made up. Quinoa, Green River melon, cucumber, tomato, cubed raw squash (I need more recipes for squash! Help!), balsamic vinegar, Ani Phyo's spiced cashews, celery salt, and cracked pepper. Pretty tasty. It all started last week when I made a cucumber melon salad with celery salt. It was so good I re-created it and made it with more sustenance to make a meal.

Art. I think the bakery wants my stuff next week so I'm cranking more out. The owner likes owls so that's what I'm doing! I love them. Having lots of fun.

Boots. I usually can't wait for Fall during August so I've been wearing my fake Doc Martins all week. More than likely I'll wear them tonight in the park for a concert. Do you also love this big hair dryer besides my Princess Leia buns? Thought so.

Can humans eat catnip? It's growing like a weed in my planter. Maybe I will dry it for the kitties when it gets cold. Brilliant!

~Smobergirl

And how many times can I say holy crap today? ;)

Holy crap the new vegan cheese is...amazing? Este Pizzeria for vegan slice day.

Day 100

Holy crap really?

I'll tell you what, I'm not out of the woods yet, but I learned a lesson on day 98. I craved so badly it hurt. I was seriously fine for about 40 days then WHAM! It can happen at any time. I hope this doesn't last. And realistically if it does, I know how to shun it. I know for a fact a craving can only last five minutes to about two hours on-and-off. Two nights ago it was for about 10 minutes. Then it just drifted like an ocean wave, and it was gone. But it did really really suck for about ten minutes. But guess what? You won't die if you don't give in, and when you wake up the next morning you actually feel proud and BETTER. I have never said "Oh I wish I binge-drank and smoked last night, dammit!". Even when I cheated on the Antabuse with 5 ounces of wine and two smokes, I felt physically like shit for three days. Weird. But here I am, 100 days binge-free. That is what matters to me. And I am telling you the God's honest truth. I know the alcohol has been a big factor, but really guys, smoking is gross.


So here are some fun pics. I found a dragonfruit! You just have to get one, if you do find one, for the wow factor. Yes, it's naturally neon fuscia. Found this one at Liberty Heights Fresh with my 15% off coupon I got at their Farmer's Market booth last Saturday. I put it in this morning's smoothie with Willard Bay Blackberries, 1/2 a banana, kale, collards; and the maca, chia, hemp, and flax. 1 cup water and a handful of ice. Purple-grey goodness!

Yay me. I'm a happy camper. I may go nuts at the Sephora for fun. I wanted to upgrade my iphone to the 4, but I'm not eligible until April. I can wait. I'll save THAT $200 for Hawaii....suckers! Just kidding. Who wants puka shells? My bro is getting married there next month and I'll be in the party. Always a DJ never a bridesmaid...

Oh speaking of, I told you I got that Raisins polka-dot bikini, here it is. Not yellow, but heck my pillow looks good in it!

Love,

Smobergirl

Took an anusara yoga class. Awakening and opening...in a slightly sore way. ;)

Woke up, threw prescribed tantrum, made peach shake, going to gym.

Second liver test came back normal. Woo.

Session with Vinca.

Get pissed off
Throw tantrums
At home alone

Kinda gave in.

Well I waited until 9, then went to the B&D. Had eight fries, 1/2 dipped in fry sauce, and 1/2 a regular cheeseburger. See, I can't even eat really bad anymore. I give myself still, a congratulatory pat on the back.

~Smobergirl

Three months!

A different craving.

Oh God don't make me an emotional-eater! Today was weird. Had a hummus sammy, then felt empty. I felt like getting a Cotton Bottom's garlic burger and fries. Maybe a tiramisu at City Cakes. But didn't. Thought sounded good at the time.

Three months!

Good morning! My place is a wreck! I need my own painting studio. It's the 17th and that means another month smober and sober. The antabuse is keeping me in check and I may do it for a year instead of six months just in case. I feel good now, but I don't know if I will start making excuses this Winter. Even though I had a late-night slice of cheese-less pizza and copious amounts of pea pesto from a spoon last night, I woke up looking pretty rockin'. LOL or so I thought. I woke up at 7:30 not groggy nor sleepy, and I thought "daaang, I look good!" Then I look at these pics and now I'm laughing. I look tired and not as svelt as I thought I looked in person. But check it out: I have more of a "V" shape on my torso, and the "Homer face" keeps going down, meaning my stomach is getting a little flatter. Really, the shorts are not helping, and I should have put my hair back. But look at my ass! It's awesome! Now I'll have to try on the D&G jeans on again...aha...no, but they got over my thighs this time! Buttoning them is still an issue. I'm telling you, by Christmas they are going on Ebay. I'm still convinced they were designed for 14-yr old boys. There is no butt nor hips in them.

I'm going to put in the "Pursuit of Happy Hips" DVD (no joke) and get my vinyasa on. I emailed the U asking if I can miss two classes this Fall if I take their yoga teacher training course since I will be in Maui for my brother's wedding. (sucks to be me) I also asked around where the best yoga teacher training in Utah is. Do you know?

My new health show on the internet is today, day three. I was going to touch on food but a friend asked if her benefit for infancy abuse could be interviewed. Why not? I'm here to help.

Well time to hit le mat. Have a wonderful Tuesday. Eat your veggies. The downtown Tuesday farmer's market in Pioneer Park is from 4-8. Go get something fresh!

~Smobergirl

Day 91

Woohoo! Three months tomorrow. Go me. I felt very angry this morning because of an event that my radio station did not show up at last Saturday. We had a table at this huge craft event which I was the main emcee at, and no one showed up. We got the spot for trade (and my volunteering as emcee) and I was so pissed that I sent a pic of the empty table to the manager and two of the DJs. However the event was pretty awesome and I had a blast. My mother was there, I got a few cute crafty things like this fabric necklace, and the live bands were fantastic. Then I started to try to be "Ms. Positive" this morning, that certainly didn't work. This sentence is partially covered by this photo. I didn't know what to do. I still don't, but what inspired me was to go home and do yoga. I got a really good Rodney Yee DVD through Netflix which worked out my core and legs. I'm also going to drop my chemistry class for Fall if I get into yoga teacher training. Yes! I don't know the demand for teachers or if I can be happy or successful starting a studio, but heck, I'll feel and look better, right? It will be forced medicine on my body. I'll learn more about meditation and breathing. I think it's right up my alley. Go me.

I made Giada's pea pesto with pistachios and cashews instead of parmesan, and it was still super-awesomeness. I put it on farmer's Market bread from Park Silly Market (that's me and a bear chillin' in PC) and topped it with tomato slices.

On a melancholic note, I noticed in the past few weeks that I'm in the land of meeting my ex's or friend's new girlfriends. Kinda sad and strange. But I'm keeping the chin up. I went to The Swell Season last night at Red Butte Gardens and it was the most beautiful, endearing, gut-wrenching concert I've ever been to. It was under the stars, I was with friends, and luckily they took a break whilst the band played "If You Want Me" to which I cried like a newborn. If you want a good freaking cry, go to a Swell Season show. Have you seen the movie "Once"? That's the band. ;)

Bon nuit,

~Smobergirl
Day 91
140 pounds
That's ten less than 91 days ago
Go me
Boys are dumb
So is community radio
No they're not
Good night

Food: blackberry, strawberry, bok choy, basil and mint shake, 8 oz iced coffee. Love energy and weight loss shakes give me. Still feel not great after coffee.

And I will walk 1000 miles...

Yesterday with my mom: rode bike to farmers mkt, walked to lunch, on feet for Craft Lake City 1-10 pm.

Lesson:

Your mistakes are more of a bigger deal to you than anyone else. Chill.

Also getting liver test #2. then home to paint away.

Gotta pimp Vinca Von Muhlenberg. www.vincahealth.com

Weaning off coffee plan: Week 1- 3/4 cold press coffee with 1/4 teeccino. www.teeccino.com

Food: Berry bok choy shake, Kashi plantain frozen meal, 1/2 avocado, sliced tomato, raw cacao smoothie, ahi tuna and baked potato with feta.

Vinca lowered my stress more. Did a little Body Shop damage. (I used to work at the one in Fashion Place) Painted! Worked out with Gilad.

I am nekkid

www.last.fm/../I+am+Naked - Options

Good day. Taking a bath with Salts from Hip + Humble, neat boutique in 9th and 9th area.

Pants on the ground.

No joke. Losing more weight and had to give 2 pairs of jeans to the consignment shop. Woot go kale shakes!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh. Shopping therapy for my bro's fianc? did it. Got a little bath salts for myself as well.

The maca did absolutely nothing for my hormones today! Ha ha.

I have a lot of emotions bottled up today.

) Yerba mate, then green and herbal.

) No more adrenalin.

Coffee very well could be a factor in my irritability. Plan: going to cold press what I have (about 1/2 pound) at home with Teechino,

Chicken and waffles. Bayleaf cafe. It was delightful. Sue me. Back to maca shakes in the morning.

Feeling a little punk now. I'm at my bro's pre-wedding bash. Had the guilt "wave" come over me. Should I write apology letters, let it go, or put that ba

g over my head? I know it's ridiculous.

Day 84. Went to Park City arts fest and got a monkey face belt buckle and some other swag for quite reasonable prices actually.

edicine. Well I need to get a baby shower card. I'll finally get sleep on Monday, but the activities I have are actually fun ones. It's just go go go, st

out of bed, like power yoga or the treadmill. I am a huge yoga advocate but I don't walk my talk all the time. I think doing it every day will be good m

in tears "facing reality" without having my vices to numb myself. It's okay. But maybe I should do some physical activity every morning the minute I get

s away from my computer. I have been mentally angry the last few days, maybe because it's been a busy week and I just want to relax. Just now I broke out

Stuff

I am at 83 days. I need to post and I only have my phone. Regardless of the texts getting scrambled I love the fact technology allows me to do thi