Meaning I need to do more. Also, now I know why all of my AA pals are 'addicted' to working out, as in vigorously. It took me a year to figure this out. Yoga is nice and I highly praise it, but I should have listened to my step-mom. Get a punching bag. I had a crazy night and day folks.
I was hot all night and stayed up until about 4:30 am. Which would normally be 3:30 as of late since we barely changed our clocks, but that's still freaking early. I called in sick, which saved my butt. I was hot all day with a little tummy ache, but I kinda ate weird combos of food last night too. Maybe that was it. And here's my blog about eating right!! I had delicious Indian food at Himalayan Kitchen around 6:30. Then got this wacked out crave for vegan buffalo wings and a chocolate peanut butter soy shake from Vertical Diner at 9:30. I think when you are a former binge-drinker, you'll make any excuse to do crazy stuff. Like spend $200 on underwear but that's a different story. So yeah. Indian food, chilies, wheat meat and soy and chocolate. Maybe not a great combo. And Vinca said not to eat the processed soy.
The weird cool thing is that I woke up at 10 am feeling energized. I have been taking part of the "Dr. Perricone Perscription" for about two weeks and my energy level is fantastic. Really. I take Co Q-10 in the morning, with DMAE and pycnogenol twice a day. I'm also drinking water with green powder more. The bad thing is that I'm getting paranoid (a trait I'm an expert at) at being a spoiled brat, people who are driving me nuts but I don't have to deal with them, and what to do with this yoga thingy. My father, the former entrepreneur, may help me open a yoga studio. That is generous but also the spoiled brat part. Most of my life people picked and pick on me for being so lucky. So I have had this cloud of guilt over my head for freaking ever. But I am lucky and I am grateful. So what do I do, please my friends and turn down offers like these? Am I stupid and don't see a clear answer? Even in corporate radio, the name "trust fund baby" floated around my back. Mean, huh? I can't win with that one. It pisses me off. Okay. Then here's a really great opportunity. I have the opportunity to teach yoga at rehab centers. I plan to speak to a teacher I know who actually does that. I know her boyfriend very well too. I was really paranoid finishing my training then I thought of the things that I'd love to do with it, like teach addicts and play local, rock, and live music at some classes. Like my old PD at the corporate station said, "...just place your hands over your ears..." if people bug you. Best advice EVER. LOL. Because even in the yoga world there are judgments. It's actually sad. There was a person who worked at the yoga studio where I took the training who carried judgmental energy in spurts and I'm thinking, you shouldn't be here. It dampened my experience, and I didn't put my hands over my ears. So that was bothering me also because this person was part of the program and I let it get to me. I wished I waited for another training at another studio. But I am done and I can get started now on work if I want, and I have other yoga workshops I'm going to which will actually make me happy. So I think if I meditated through the teacher training, I would have dealt with it so much better.
AA pals being addicted to exercise: I took Zumba class #2 tonight and I'm going to sleep like a baby!! I was so relaxed afterwards, it's like night and day. Step-mom told me months ago that yoga is great and all, but maybe I should get a punching bag also and take some kick boxing. Vigorous aerobic workouts work better for my mood. I'm not at all dissing the yoga because you know I love it. I love the relaxation yoga, hatha, and gentle stretches give me; but after power yoga or breaking a sweat at kickboxing or dancing like Zumba, I feel freakin' high. So when my addy friends say they have to hit the gym, I know it's not to lose weight or to get fit necessarily. It's endorphins, dopamine, and seratonin that get elevated with vigorous exercise. I say yoga for soul, Zumba for mind. http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression
I do feel much, much better now and now I know what I have to do. I need to relax first and foremost. I need not to take things or people so darned or damned seriously. I need to plug my ears once in a while. And I need more freezer space.
Smobergirl
Day 302
63 days until 1 year sober and smoke-free!
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