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Friday, May 4, 2012

The experiment.

Day one again.  When I was eight months quit I would only crave about once a month. When I drink every third day I crave every third day. I heard that it takes three days for nicotine to leave your system, so there's my withdrawal right there. The first three days are the hardest, then the first three weeks, then after three months I usually feel much better. It's called addiction, that's why I can't just stop. Life is also much crappier when you are addicted, overall. I lose friends, I soil my reputation, I can't apply for certain companies because I've made enemies there. Then when I stop being toxic things flip around and I get on a roll. My painting shows took off and I seemed to get one after another, I met healthier friends, I made more money, I received more opportunities, I looked and felt better, and I became a pretty awesome person overall.

The experiment is not another bright idea how to quit, but it kinda is. I am going to Hawaii soon and I am short on funds. I have a ton of food at home so I will only eat at home what I have until the trip. I can also save around $200 in binge money, I need that for the trip! I already wasted $60 this week. I have thousands of bright ideas, it's the following through that I need to work on. However I did get back into the hip-hop workouts, and I'm trying TRX with a friend soon.

I am developing an occasional pain on the roof of my mouth. Could be the drinking and smoking? I never got sick or had any problems when I quit. So why risk it again? My body is being stripped of nutrients again and I'm developing more wrinkles. The problems I have are in my head: Loneliness, boredom, I'll never get a job I like again. Now I'm going to cry, which I had bursts of all day. My life isn't over but depressants make you feel that way.

Today I drank plenty of water and made a veggie burger which I will be living on (Costco special mega 12-packs) with watercress, raspberry mustard, avocado, and cherry tomatoes. I have enough smoothie ingredients also to last at least a few weeks, quinoa, dry beans, healthy snacks, rice, and more. I'll probably lose weight for the trip too. Why would I want to eat out? :)

Thank you and please don't give up on me. Do not fall back into a bad habit because you'll have to dig yourself out all over again.

Love,

Smobergirl

Day one

1 comment:

  1. I've been reading your blog for awhile (because I too am my own experiment). I finally managed to quit smoking thanks to Allen Carr's Easyway book. Working on the Easyway to quick drinking alcohol but haven't finished the book yet. Work in progress! Have you checked out either of those books?

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