Hung Over

But you know not really. I didn't know OD-ing on rice and staying up until 2 am made you so groggy. Well yeah, I was up until about 2:00. That could explain it. I feel much better and relieved. It's over. I'm enjoying a Hazelnut Teechino right now. Life isn't too shabby. Guitar lesson at 3:00. Yoga at my leisure on my new Namaste Yoga DVDs. Boyfriend coming over tonight to make an ahi slad and watch The Adventures of Tin-Tin. Life's pretty good.

Smobergirl

Still up.

Feeling better, and not like the horrible flake I really am. j/k. Iced Teechino, rice milk, jade rice. Rice in the Teechino (seriously there's barley in it). My AWESOME boyfriend just called again to make sure I was okay. It's good to stay up late. I smell like bananas. It's my lotion from Lush cosmetics. Now getting tired. Feeling good. It was all for the best and now I don't have to worry about how to give in my 2 weeks. Reputation not ruined. It just wasn't a match. I have other local band events in the works. I'm still loved.

Love,

Smobergirl

Canned.

Well maybe even asking a, b, and c wouldn't have kept me there. I am typing to you in tears even though I had the hardest time for months there and I wanted to leave. In December I told my mom and my new guy that it wasn't for me, and they both wanted me to stick through Sundance. Well that ends this weekend and tonight I got let go. At least I got to network (and here's me redeeming myself: Do a good deed and go to http://www.playtimethemovie.com and donate to their Kickstarter) and got a few freebies. However I was losing interest in the gig and being sad as well as walking on eggshells around the director and I showed it. I wasn't afraid or didn't care to not go up last weekend in the blizzard (which was much, much needed here in UT). I was being lazy and I didn't want to crawl up to PC for an hour and 1/2 to work for two hours and sleep on a couch. So yeah I deserved it, but I should had quit first. I have never been fired in my life, and it sure sucks even though you were miserable there. It seemed that place was for locals and students who wanted to get their foot in the TV door and be willing to work their hineys off for peanuts. I did that in my 20's...and 30's and I refuse to go back there. I'm a prima donna, sorry.  So what's a girl to do. I'm free. I'm out of the small cable media zoo. You know, every time I am low, I think what my anti-gravity yoga teacher says after a hard exercise, "Run it out, it's in the past, run it out, it's over!"

Love,

Smobergirl

Day 620

P.S. Dammit I didn't even drink to get fired! WTF. :-)

Day 4...

...no coffee. Feeling good and sleepy at 10:00 pm. I love my Teechino. The hazelnut is the best so far for my cravings, and with almond milk I make or the rice milk which Costco has right now. I also stocked up on Coco Loco (coconut water), avocados, Roma tomatoes, Anjou pears, and a pineapple there. I made Sarma's Watercress Tang yesterday with the pears and pineapple and it's pretty awesome. I'm eating more and more whole foods and the only processed has been local Crumb Brother's seed bread and the tube pasta in my kale soup, which I still have! It sure makes a ton. I've been living off of that and avos and juice. Oh yeah and I have to dip the bread in the soup. The Real Simple recipe called for it. I obeyed.

I feel calmer. We'll see what happens down the road (almost) caffeine-free. I still drink green tea and oops is that dark chocolate with a little caffeine?

Good night,

Smobergirl

I lived!

And I already felt tired at 8:45 opposed to not until between 11:00 and 1:00. Good girl. I think I can keep this up. I craved (coffee) at 2:00 pm so I made a Teechino with almond milk and that did the trick. You know what? Like wine really, I don't like the taste of coffee. I was addicted. I'd prefer the taste and feeling I have drinking tea more. Teechino has that roasted flavor like coffee, and you brew it like coffee, but it's made of chicory root, barley, figs, carob, nuts and berries and twigs. j/k It's caffiene-free and it's called 'herbal coffee'. It's pretty tasty too. My favorite flavors are chocolate mint, Aztec chocolate, hazelnut, and amaretto. Hmmmm, chocolate and alcohol flavors, go figure. So, I wanted that coffee taste and not tea (because I've been using it for 21 years perhaps), but I really do like tea. It feels lighter. I went all-tea-no-coffee all of last January and it felt great. But I want to keep off it for good.

Smobergirl

Coffee quit day 1...

...attempt number ? I finally got spooked again by a blog from a nutritionist who's book I just picked up. "Caffiene from coffee can lead to mood swings and anxiety." Which I feel I both still possess. So here I am, at Cafe Oasis, with my second-favorite beverage, a green jasmine iced tea. If I freak put for coffee I'll try some straight-up Teechino. I also have an entire shelf stocked with teas, and almond mild and some sparkling beverages in the fridge. I am also working on cutting down on dairy, even though I "had to" get three pints of pumpkin strachiatella from my friend who works at Vinto because it was only available for Thanksgiving and she made a special-ordered batch because, well, it's gelato crack that's why. Other than that I've only put in a parm rind in a fabulous kale soup I made, and had a bit of feta in my Oasis frittata. Yoga and exercise is also keeping the anxiety down. I really have to do it every day! Love, Smobergirl

Guac Tacos!

Yummy! All this is is home made guac and shredded cabbage. I feel so good and well-behaved. Look how pretty they are. Don't forget the lime juice!

~Smobergirl

Exercise!!!

Well now as I type this, I DID feel better, amazingly so, after jumping on the mini-tramp for 20 minutes and lifting. I had amazing leftover mussels and I made a salad with home made hummus. Now I'm hot literally in la cabeza. Food? Stress? Flu? The guy I'm dating had the flu and came over for a sec on Sunday. Then I was kinda worrying about having guests on my TV show for the film fest season, on top of that the local bands keep knocking on my door for that one as expected. I give and I give. I did get hot right after I ate. Bad mussels?

I have been stressing over nothing, but mostly the "poor me I do everything" part. At least I'm so hot that I don't want to take three baths today like the last two days. But yeah, I can say this, exercise works. I've said it before. It totally makes me feel better.

Smobergirl

Cold.

Poopy, tired and cold I feel during this 'partial-cleanse'. Actually a soup cleanse sounds pretty great instead. I already took a hot bath and I want to get back in. HOWEVER, more poop talk speaking of poopy, I go to the bathroom regularly. The celery is doing the trick, in smoothies and as a snack. This one was yummy this morning:

Spinach
Kale
1/2 banana
Celery
1/2 cucumber
1 knob ginger
1 cup water
1/2 cup ice
1 tsp flax
1 tsp chia
1 tsp maca


Smobergirl

Well well!

I just found this emailed to me:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 12. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. 13. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. 14. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 15. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. 16. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. 17. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. 18. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 19. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 20. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 21. The most important sex organ is the brain. 22. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 23. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?". 24. Always choose life. 25. Forgive everyone everything. 26. What other people think of you is none of your business. 27. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. 28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 29. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 30. Believe in miracles. 31. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 32. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. 33. Your children get only one childhood. 34. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 35. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 36. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. 37. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 38. The best is yet to come. 39. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 40. Yield. 41. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Weight.

Well, what am I talking about? I lost 25 pounds since I quit drinkin', but I still felt 'skinny fat'. I think I'm taking in too much dairy and caffeine mostly. Oy the caffeine!  Not ready to give that up yet. I discovered Starbucks instant coffee I can make at home for much cheaper, but it has sugar in it. Tasty, yeah. Dammit. I make up for it in cucumber water and loads of kale. Now Kimberly (in her book) tells me to eat celery, which I found her simple snack which I re-named "Red Ants On A Log".  Celery, almond butter, goji berries. I need to write a book! I'm a naming genius.

I'm also lifting more and doing the strength training, which does include yoga. Those chataurungas and planks do wonders for your arms and the 'bra fat'!

Love,

Smobergirl

Good with the bad.

Inspired by a new detox book I got (The Beauty Detox Solution by Kimberly Snyder) I am weeding out a lot of junk and eating more cleansing foods. I made a kale salad from the book with a dressing of lemon juice, brewer's yeast, dulce flakes, and cayenne. It was so great! Then, I gave in to instant iced coffee (cheaper than coffee-shop bought, but sweetened), a 1/4 cup of dark chololate gelato, and a bison burger. I picked off the bun as I ate it so no white bread for me! Look at all of that fresh spinach. ;-) Good with the bad. I need to drink a tea or smoothie later. There are good smoothie recipes in the book, including one with frozen Sambazon acai packets which I covet, and coconut water. Yum! So I hope to lose weight and feel better as I weed out the bad. I think caffeine and dairy are the last hurdles. But I'm taking baby steps. Okay Bandit you can haz cheezburger.


Smobergirl

Day 601

9009

That's how many cigarettes I have not smoked for almost 20 months.

Raw and clean.

What a wonderful morning. I made a green drink for breakfast (celery, cuke, lime, apple, kale, and the token seeds and powders). For lunch, I made Matt Amsden's zucchini noodles in marinara, and I sprinkled brewer's yeast on top! Then I craved sweet so I drank 1/2 glass of chocolate almond milk that I made: Almonds, water, honey, vanilla extract, and cocoa powder.


Feelin' good, and it finally snowed!

Smobergirl


Day 600!

Coco(a)~Berry Smoothie

1 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen
1/2 cup ice
1 scoop chocolate Amazing Greens powder
1 tbs coconut oil
2 dinosaur kale leaves
1/2 or more cup water for consistency
1 tsp maca powder
1 tsp chia seeds


Blend in a high-speed blender. It's really good! Chocolate/coconut/berry mmmm!




Smobergirl

Happy New Year!

Happy Sober New Year!

I did have my share of chocolate though. Just now I tried to polish off a pot de creme (like a chocolate pudding) but since I had a smoothie and a salad, and it's January 1, I kept thinking how it would clog my body, so I stopped at three bites and tossed the rest.

New years make people want to start over, have a clean slate. This salad I made today is sweet, a little spicy, and has a lot of fiber!

Romaine mix
1/2 julienned pear
1/2 sliced fennel bulb
pomegranate seeds
1 Belgian endive
1 tsp honey vinegar (there's an amazing Utah-made one out there)
1/2 tablespoon chili olive oil
pistachios

This morning's shake was strawberry-banana, mainly so my new boy-frien' didn't have to suffer through a kale shake, and it looks really pretty!

6 hulled strawberries
1 banana
1/2 cup almond milk (I made mine)
1/2 cup ice
1 tsp flax
1 tsp chia seeds
1 tbs coconut oil

I feel great. Here's a homework assignment: Feel your body mentally after you eat something. I'm sad that I can't even eat 5 tiny white non-pareils because even those made my stomach sour, but it's a sign!

Love,

Smobergirl

Day 594 smoke and alcohol-free, minus one.