I'm going to Wanderlust!! It's a yoga/music festival featuring yogi and music celebrities like Shiva Rea, John Friend, Rolf Gates, Michael Franti, Yogi MC, and Girl Talk. You do yoga all day and party all night, basically. I'm back on the Antabuse so I'm not concerned about the party part. It does look like that there will be a lot of wine involved. I'm particularly excited because some classes are only for teachers, and now I fit into that category! This goes through the weekend, then I won't leave Bandit for a long time. Poor guy. I'm grateful that my token cat-sitter can stay again after my 16 day absence. She seems happy to do it. I know, my life sucks, a mediterranean vacation followed by the yoga version of Burning Man. Hey I'm smober and 40, I think it's deserving.

I'll plan to give you a report from there, and I'll take lots of photos too. This will catapult a new fitness regimen for me. When I get back, INSANITY (from the PX90 folk) should be at my doorstep. http://www.beachbody.com. My yogi friend at the Baptiste Institute swears by it, so I got it on a whim. It's a 60-day workout program that promises you a ripped body. I know I know, but I'm your guinea pig, right? I'll do it 100% and let you know if it works. The website also promotes a smoothie powder called Shakeology, which has all of the 'superfoods' I put in mine. Heck if I can just buy one powder with maca, chia, goji, flax, and camu camu that would be great. I'm getting a free week supply with Insanity and I'll let you know how that goes too.

Smobergirl

Day 436

I always felt at the bottom of the pole at that station. I don't expect the morning show to empathize. They will never be in those shoes.

Not-so stuck.

I love my new doc. I could not get more Antabuse because my health provider no-longer covers it. Oh Health Select, you made me an unhappy girl. Doc was even surprised. So before I got a request note from him asked from HS, he gave me a business pep-talk. He got out of me why exactly I drank and how I feel when I have the craves. So I blurted out that I was afraid of continuous job failure. He's this genuine man who told me that he made $17,000 his first year of practice. He also told me that he's supporting his one son through school and one to help start a business. So I shouldn't feel guilty if my family offered to help me as well. I need a serious attitude adjustment, because I always don't feel worthy. This is also a perfectionist issue. I feel like I should wait until I'm perfect to start a yoga studio or become a chef to start a smoothie book or shop. It's really been the story of my life, that not just anyone can start this or that without serious creds. A lesson I learned today. I have my teaching certificate. Do I need to be Rodney Yee first to start a studio? I think my problem with that is that I'm not serene enough. Please tell me that's BS. During my training I sure felt unworthy because I was a rock DJ and some people were Pitta-bashing. Look it up, and guess who was the biggest pitta there? No not me but the ones pointing fingers at this 'firey' personality. It was so ridiculous. It was like racism really. It got me even more 'fired up', it didn't teach me anything beneficial. Just google dosha types and you'll get an idea. Apparently everyone has a dosha based on body and mind-type: Kapha, Pitta, and Vata. Everyone wants to be a vata because that's the thin body type and sweet personality, even though 'airy' (each dosha has an element). Kapha is heavy, slow, and greedy (earth). Pitta is the big jerk of the family (fire) and turns red easily for physical and emotional reasons. This is ayurvedic philosophy and honestly I think quite judgmental. It's a shame because some of the remedies for each dosha; mostly in the form of tea, diet, and oils; make common sence. But the remedy for being a jerk should be to relax, love yourself, and find a tight support group instead of recommending to avoid spicy foods (which I love) and sour foods. Hmmm. That's not 'fire', smoke is. Smoking makes you irritable, and it literally comes from fire, which makes more sense to ayurveda, but I never saw that mentioned. Alcohol makes you a jerk because you lose all judgment. That would be air, which vata is according to the practice. So why aren't airy types bad? This is all silly jargon to me and I'm going to stop venting now. My main teachers (not the pitta-haters) told me that I have a wonderful personality and a comforting voice. Not jerk-like at all. Yeah, so I need more faith in myself. A lot more.

Love,

Smobergirl

Stuck

I'm not gonna lie but I've felt stuck lately. I also felt a little unsatisfied with my vacation but I didn't tell anyone that. It was a little too much cheese on the boat and too many tourists off. I don't think I did my research. I would have been more happy with a food adventure in NYC or go back to Hawaii or check out the Bahamas. I ideally wanted a beach/spa/food trip then Europe was the furthest away and I had that opportunity. Then I try not to be so anylitical because now I'm guilty because I'm still not full-time in anything and I should thank my lucky stars for that trip and I'm just a brat. But I still get lonely and sad and the last thing I want is a 9-5 job and I don't want to go crazier than I am. I sure hope I'm just burnt out and not clinically depressed. What's wrong with me? I feel more at peace doing yoga but maybe it's time for my 20 minute walk. I'm burning a gourd bowl and I think it's going to look really pretty once it's beaded and painted. Hey I think this is me beating myself up again. Thing is, right now I have enough money to take classes, build a studio, and do what I love to do. I am going to Wanderlust on the 28th but I haven't really told anyone. I got my tickets in March because they were cheaper then. Tempted to get a refund but it will improve my yoga teaching and I'll meet a ton of people. I wish it wasn't just around the corner since I just had a vacation. Yes, I worry what the family will think. I told you I may be depressed. Or just a spoiled brat. Or both.

Smobergirl

Always a good start.

I can't tell you enough how my day will be different depending if I work out first thing in the morning or not. I've made everything seem hunky dory or the most part I think, but the truth is I feel a big difference in my mind. If I don't work out even for a few days I'll feel depressed and crave more.

I did a Rodney Yee DVD today and I think there's a reason why he's the #1 yogi for the consumer. He's not too hard, good looking, does yoga on the beach, and has a really nice baritone voice. When I feel too lazy or tired, his DVDs are perfect (or Namaste Yoga but that's a different company) because they are more relaxing and shorter than my usual 75 minute Baptiste vinyasa sweat fest. Yee also walks 20 minutes a day so that's what got me going on the treadmill. Speaking of walking...

I have a European lifestyle testimony. I walked about three to seven hours a day on the trip. Then I did some strength training on the boat. I ate two gelatos a day, pasta, baguettes, pizza and lost weight in my chest, belly, arms, and legs. My thighs are stronger and I can hold them up higher and longer in yoga poses. All over the Mediterranean I saw a ton of bicyclers, in-line skaters, and walkers. Having a car is actually considered a luxury, so I hear.

After yoga I had non-fat yogurt with oats, dried cranberries, and buckwheat. I made almond milk and put it in a 10 ounce iced coffee.

Sometimes if I'm too lazy I'll play an episode of Namaste or "Total Body Sculpt With Gilad" and I'll watch it for a bit then start doing the workout after about 5 minutes.

I mentally feel much better than I would have not working out. It sets the tone for the day.

Smobergirl
14 months yesterday!!

I am so disappointed.

I find myself wearing dresses and shorts this summer, and I feel confident in my new bod. However I am disappointed because I just ate 3/4 of a Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy cone. It has chunks of brownie in it. So ashamed. Yet the rest of my day was healthy eats:

Breakfast: Pineapple cilantro shake

Lunch: Sauteed farmer's market mushrooms and peas. 1/2 avocado with sea salt.

4 pm: grilled salmon marinated in balsamic vinegar, olive oil, sea salt, and cracked pepper. 1/2 grilled corn cob. 1 veggie skewer. I was at a BBQ with good friends and I met some new ones. I brought a slushier, less cilantro-ey shake by request of the host and seemed to be a hit.

Dinner: Evil Jungle Princess tofu at Thaifoon. I'll have to (or be in denial) look into those ingredients.

Time for bed. I just saw a fllier in my mail that says, "Take Care Of Yourself" from my health provider. So true and it's paying off, and I say have a small B&J every once in a blue moon if you are good to yourself most of the time. I didn't feel sick afterwards. Must be the Portia size.

Smobergirl

Setting the tone.

I could get used to this waking up at 6 am. routine. It's jet-lag, but I don't know if it will stick. Perhaps if I keep going to bed between 8:30 and 10. Also the consistency of sun salutes and stretching is paying off. I had tons of energy when I woke up, and made this acai/berry/kale smoothie:

3 kale leaves
1/2 cup frozen blueberries and blackberries
1 cup water
1 frozen acai smoothie packet (I love these. Easy to find at Sunflower or Whole Foods)
1 tsp chia seeds
1 tsp flax seeds
1 scoop chocolate hemp powder
1 scoop awesome (j/k)

Then I did yoga and dance stretches, along with pilates scissors. I kept wanting to go go go. I'm also watching recorded shows of Giada's Weekend Getaways. Bermuda, Maui, Cabo, ahhh....

Potty talk time. Woo! After 30 minutes or so drinking the smoothie (I also had a glass of water upon waking) I had a nice, smooth, bowel movement. Golden banana! Ew! Well, that's healthy. If you don't go it could be trouble.

The lesson today is when you go to bed early and sober, you wake up to mornings like mine, and I set a great tone for the day. It's like that Multi-Grain commercial. If you start eating right, one good behavior will lead to another. I remember my wino days that wasted so much potential, sleeping in, sleeping all day, forgetting at work, not working out, craving salty foods. It was just one bad snowball. Don't be a dirty snowball. ;)

Love,

Smobergirl

I'm baaaack.

I also think I actually lost weight. I did so much walking and climbing in the countries, and gym work on the boat. I thought I ate a ton, but really I ate a lot of small meals or snacks every day. Yeeeeah maybe the tan helped too, you always look thinner with a tan, but my clothes are looser than before I left. I walked about seven hours a day in 2 1/2 weeks. Then every other day on the boat I was lifting. It had a nice gym. It was also a beautiful boat. I got a wild hair and promised to only walk the stairs and not take the elevator, which I only seemed to do the day I walked the 800 steps to the city of Thira in Santorini.

Well it's back to kale, and I got mustard greens to make a mixed salad along with lettuces from my planter. I also bought more Fage 0%. I still crave sugar and that Greek yogurt with honey, nuts, and oats does the trick. I'm taking a much needed gelato break. lol

THE JET LAG MAKES ME WAKE UP AT 3:30 AM, THEN I LAY IN BED UNTIL AT LEAST 6. Whoops, caps. I also want to sleep from 5-7 pm. But I have appreciated the early mornings. I could get used to it if it keeps happening. I think I'll read in bed now until I crash. It's a quarter till 9.

Love,

Smobergirl

Day 423

Ooh la la!

Well it's time to go home, and I just got picked up in a black Mercedes. Fancy. On the way to the airport now. Xavier is my driver. Barcelona was my favorite stop on the trip. It almost beat the seaweed wrap treatment on the boat. Okay not really but the Gaudi apartments and Picasso museum were worth coming here. The shopping wasn't bad either. Despite the crowds and most ports catering to tourism, I was definitely spoiled and made for a fun 40th birthday trip. I did eat too much sugar, but I didn't feel left out not having any European wines. I had more agua mineral con gas than you could shake a stick at and that helped me wanting any wine. I wanted to smoke one time when I smelled it, but that only lasted for a few seconds really. When I get back home it's back to kale shakes, but I may have a problem with cured ham. It is so good here but I know it's full of salt. But I never felt bloated or sluggish, and I walked all that off anyway and then some. I probably saved hundreds in taxi money by walking everywhere. I took 3 taxis my entire trip which totaled 20 euro or so. Well we are at the airport. See you on the flipside.

Smobergirl

I am in better shape than I thought, but I miss my Bandito.

So, I am leaving port in Santorini, Greece now. I had an amazing feta dish (originally created by one of my heroes, Giada!) And I walked 800 (count 'em) steps to the city of Thira. I am so proud of myself. It was even harder climbing down because they are made of stone and slippery, and covered in donkey poop. You can ride them for 4 Euro but I wanted the challenge. It's the cruise to lose! Kind of. ;) I think it's pizza and pasta (and more gelato) from here on out. So I'm making a goal to climb the stairs on the boat unless I'm absolutely dying. And my room is on the 5th floor of 11 so it's easy being right in the middle. Ah my 'cat-sitter' just texted and everything is okay, except for my guy devouring the pea plant tendrils and not touching the fresh catnip, of course. :)

The cruise shop sells cartons of cigs and I am only discusted. Yay! I can't even bear to walk past the ships' smoking section. pat, pat.


Smobergirl