Smokey the cat 1995-2010

My oldest died yesterday. He was about 15, went in his sleep, and we even had a peaceful but teary moment together before he went, by the bed on a blanket. He was immoveable and glassy eyed all day and I could had rushed him to the vet, but I let him lay in his familiar surroundings. It is so unfair to beat yourself up. He was a sweet, well behaved cat. Well there was the carpet-peeing thing, however he was the sweetest. Two days ago he was walking around, peered in the bath tub when I was in it, and hung out on the sofa with me so we could watch Bitchin' Kitchen together. The Utah mountain earth where I will bury him (my father's back yard) is frozen, by Saturday there will be a hole waiting for him. So, I pulled a Rubin and Ed and put him in the freezer. Don't worry, he's all bundled up in the blanket with mini calla lily flowers, in a REI boot box, wrapped in plastic. It kills me, then I think it's just his body and hopefully his soul is in kitty heaven playing with my other old cat Aphrodite. It was actually beautiful the way he passed. We had our moment. I pet him for an hour and cried, and his eyes actually started watering. Then I made some lunch, came back and he was gone. Ten minutes or so later The Bandit was chirping at a robin on my balcony, which I never see, and then it flew away. Smokey had a great, comfortable life. In his last few years he became scrawny and weak, as old people get. He got old and frail. He shrunk, so to speak. He was always a sweet, mellow cat. In the last few weeks we had "slumber parties" in the bedroom, which he hardly left. He ate, slept, and did his business there. I had a nice set up with a litter box, food, water, and more blankeys than you could shake a stick at. I kinda miss it. Bandit is doing great, hasn't looked for Smokey, and I'm glad he's here for moral support.


And I'm not drinking or smoking. I am eating more 'comfort foods' like dumplings, pasta, soups, bread, and frozen coconut desserts. Note to self: I don't think I'll eat anything frozen for a while or get ice until Smokey is out of the freezer. I had a bit of a tough time today making iced coffee and occasionally getting into Nada Moo Mint Chocolate Chip. The cool thing is, I'm keeping the portion sizes moderate. I think I want to pig out, then I just don't. Oh and I'm making kale or butter lettuce salads, so I feel pretty responsible still on the eating front. Taking the maca capsules help too.

Day 199
Smobergirl