I am a big mess. A big terrible mess. On my show today I think it will be more music less talk. I need to get myself together. I was in a buisiness with a lot of rejection involved. I was the 'weird kid' in grade school. So what? I have to stop whining. I have tons of fans and friends who don't think I'm screwed up. I am just being normal, like a lot of people get to a certain age and think they have accomplished nothing. That's a very destructive thing to do.

So I found a cafe where no one will find me. Ha ha. I'm having a comforting hot tea and warm food is coming. I want to move to Vancouver. I kinda want to put that bag over my head. I think I'm just giving up. When the shakes go away I'll start working out again. That is great medicine. The people who I annoy, well most, know my true character and know that I'm just going through some rough patches. I need to ingrain this in my head: I cannot control alcohol. I have a strong personality and I keep thinking I can have two glasses of wine at home. It NEVER works. Ever. I need to slap myself and get a clue. But in a loving, nurturing way. Ha.