Title?

So much going on I can't think of one. For one, at another day 3, more stuff is coming out. And I wanted to say how I know I can stick to this one from more guilt and just impatience, but I don't want to be the girl who cried wolf. I know visiting my dad next week will keep me sober because my step-mother is on my side. We have been texting every day for three weeks. Now more than ever I am hopeful. I have not had one craving since Thursday.

Yesterday I discovered Budokon, a workout that combines yoga, martial arts, and meditation. It was pretty cool. I had anxiety most of the time until the meditation, then it just disappeared. Most people say my biggest fault is beating myself up, and I wonder if it's my high-expectations upbringing, the fact I was diagnosed with mild anxiety when my parents got divorced, or if I'm just a drama queen. Speaking of, I found myself beating myself up for not being 'normal', like being a weirdo making up a gothic depressing dances to Talking Head songs when I was 15, to singing to my stuffed animals when I was 12, to freaking out over every boy I dated or who wouldn't date me. Then now I'm like, what, is that weird? I worked at a rock station and tons of teens called me with their drama stories. They were just like me. Who the heck am I? I've constantly have had this problem of putting everyone higher than myself, but I don't show it. So when I freak out they are surprised. Maybe that's my only weird side. Am I making any sense? Emotional detox is fun, let me tell you. I seriously need to get rid of 14 years of internal toxins, so how long does that take?

Oh that's a nice salad I made. Smooth butter lettuce, tangelo pieces, hericot verts, a green onion, 3 olives, and balsamic vinegar/sea salt dressing. Yummy.

Love,

Smobergirl