Stepmom.

I just talked to her for an hour and twenty minutes. I relapsed last night and came out to her. I told you in August that I tried just about everything except for rehab, and I kept trying different things during this blog. I hesitate to talk about her because my mom would probably get upset, but I know she doesn't know about this blog. My step-mother was my piano teacher when I was 8 until I was about 12. She always has been a sweet, gentle lady and does not have a bad bone in her body. I told her everything today and she wants to be my 'sober buddy'. She drinks about 3 glasses of champagne a night, but I wouldn't call her an alkie like me. I went apeshit on the myface last night and erased them today. Some things about why I am stupid and poor me I was never respected or listened to since I was 6 blah blah blah. Then a friend responded saying I should have my own reality show. True that. Now I'm singing Institutionalized to myself, trying to convince myself that "I'm not crazy".

The AZ trip was tough. My mom had wine in our hotel room every night and she was in party mode. I was really good until I came home yesterday. I'm the closet wino I told ya. I had so much fun, drinking Frog's Leap and smoking Nat Sherman's in front of recorded American Idol episodes. Then of course this morning was a different story. Hangover, guilt, disappointment, bloated. All of this for $33.50.

My stepmom is fantastic. She is going to call me every night at 6 to do the we won't have a drink tonight pledge, and in 2 weeks we'll see how we feel. You know what, I wanted a buddy. Now I have one. I know she is also true to her word. I had a really great talk with her and I am pretty hopeful now.

I had a vegan crepe for brunch with eggplant (which I don't like but Sage's knows how to make it yummy) and whole garlic cloves. Garlic's a good healer, good for the blood. I got gluten-free pasta which is suppossed to taste good. We'll see. I am drinking mineral water with coconut water ice cubes I made in a wine glass. Step mom is doing the same at her home.

~Smobergirl