If not for my health, I think I finally learned my lesson that 9 times out of 10 I will find someone on the Internet or email to bash. I kept trying to drink "normally" and I can't. I keep thinking I'm a lonely loser and I'm absolutely not. I just burnt out and wanted people to come to me instead of myself making the effort.
So I'm at a favorite cozy cafe after cleaning out my mother's storage unit for an hour this morning. It was perfect. It was lightly snowing outside, I had a hot tea and the best fresh stir fry I've had in a long time. Then I noticed sitting to his back to me very well could have been one of those I drunkedly pissed off. I tried to make amends a while back but he just said adios muchacha. It was someone I really liked, but he just needed a shoulder at the time and I got the wrong idea. Then he found the perfect girl and I was broken. So my perfect lunch turned into grabbing to go containers and sneaking out of there.
People make enemies on purpose every day sober. If I stayed that way I would not intentially make any at all. I want everyone to understand and forgive me, but AA says usually only alcoholics understand alcoholics.
Well that bump is over and I'm back to my perfect day. I have a guitar lesson now, I may ride the new train to Ogden to run more errands for my mom (she's bribing me, and bribery will get you everywhere) then there is a gallery stroll tonight!
~Smobergirl
No comments:
Post a Comment