I need to record South Park Again. Anyway as fate would have had it, I got lucky, and learned a ton from my worksheet I got from the shrink. Holy crap, okay one, I had a craving for a frozen hot chocolate at the aves chocolate shop and just when I get into my car and tune into my favorite community radio station, the DJ announces that this is his last day. I freak out and immediately email his employers asking about the position. Two, this is where reality kicks in which is something I should had done since 1993, I realized that I have been harder than myself more than anybody. I did think for a second because I did email this station drunk before, but I didn't care because they probably don't either. Probably. :) If they do I still made the effort to contact them tonight and the worst they can say is no or nothing. I don't grab opportunities anymore because I'm afraid. But I'm not a mind reader. I don't know how they feel about me. I just assume everyone hated me but that's not true. I wish you'd been in my shoes tonight. Maybe the Wellbutrin's kicking in because I felt calm and super happy, and the fuzzy head went away finally. I wasn't hard on myself anymore. The mood worksheets are all about distorted thinking, and I had plenty of that pretty much all of my life. Tonight was an awakening for me, and making myself happy and having the lightbulb go off was liberating. It was a great lesson and I'm glad for once that I craved sugar. Ha ha. I enjoyed it in a park and just stared at the tree branches above me. I have a pic I'll post tomorrow of the tree. There's a small opening in the trunk big enough for a fantasy fairy or mouse's doorway. It's quite adorable.
Love,
Smobergirl
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