Happy New Year! I did not: Quit coffee, drink nothing but juice, or do yoga yesterday or today. I was weepy, a little irritable, and lonely as all...Heck as we say in Utah.
I learned a great lesson about expectations. Don't have any! :) I had a NYE date last minute. We were supposed to wait and have coffee or go to a concert this year, but on the 31st this man, whom I've had a little crush on for three years, texted "Any plans for Rockin' NYE?" I flipped. He didn't really ask me out but I said I could come to his work and do something after. He seemed thrilled, even his co-workers were giddy for us. We went to a dive club of my choice. It was non-pretentious and a friend of mine was the DJ. I wanted to dance but my date said he was really good....after a few shots, which he didn't have. But we talked all night, planned to hang the next day, aaaaand oops I haven't heard from him since. That kinda sucked. And I'm such a moron I even called my mother and a friend validating that there's nothing wrong with me. But I'm better now. The last five NYE's have kinda really sucked actually. But you know what? This is my first sober one and I'd say the best out of the others. AA is absolutely right saying "my worst day sober beats my best day drunk". I don't remember last year, I think I was at home with two bottles of vino. Two years ago was THE WORST ever: I was alone and my hairdresser invited me to a bar with her friends. Only to show up after 11:30 when I waited for them for two hours. I was already plastered, and stumbled home for ten blocks. I called a friend from the bar earlier, slurring, asking him to pick me up. And that ruined our friendship because I liked THAT guy two years ago, he's LDS, I'm not, and he seemed disappointed in me....and I will spare you the rest of the details. We did make up and are good friends now. NYE and Valentine's Day have that magic of making you feel like a sorry-ass if you are single. Oh yeah I wanted to drink last night and this afternoon, but it wasn't the Antabuse that stopped me. In fact I haven't taken one since the 30th. I think I grew up and realized the consequences would be really shitty if I gave in, on many accounts. Then what would be the point of this blog? :) Could I be somewhat cured? I was tempted but I really so do not want to go back to that place. Hooray!! Best holiday ever? Aren't those flowers gorgeous? I got them to make my place look nice for my date when I made him breakfast. Oops. At least I can enjoy them. That green one didn't bloom until this morning. It was a total surprise. Whole Foods. They come in a big bouquet.
I'm glad I've been busy. I painted up a storm yesterday and I made some really cool stuff. Today I wrestled with my new Love Sac couch, and my friend picked up my old one this morning. The covers on the new one are insanely soft. Problem is they are a pain to get on. I drove to Fashion Place just so the sales guy could help me with one of them. Four down; three sides, one base, one cushion, and one pillow to go.
Still a bit sad but I'll live. Plus I have another flirt in the wings. No expectations this time. It is amazing how you yourself can make or break your day. My friend Becky gave me a meditation candle for Christmas, and I just got in a Rodney Yee yoga DVD from the Netflix. I also have a coupon to a nice restaurant. The rest of the day should be better. More asana and meditation, and I'll go veg and drink craploads of water tonight. (instead of coffee which I have been doing)
Happy 2011!
Smobergirl
Day 230
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