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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Sad Bandit.



There's a problem. Since the 18th of December I have been depressed. I don't know if it's the bad holiday food I've been sneaking in, eating more refined sugar and more iced coffees, doing actually less yoga, or all of the above. I'm taking yoga teacher training, but I wished I waited because now I found a place much closer to me. I made many excuses not to go to a class up there because it's a drive. Deep down I'm sad. I've been sobbing about once-twice a week. Like when I was drinking, sometimes I want to do nothing. I take 1-hour or more baths. I sleep in. I stay up late. I'm lonely. I mean it's crazy. Or do you think my emotions are changing because the Depo Provera is wearing off? I'm not gaining weight. I think that proves that the alcohol really put on some poundage. I had 6 bites of a salad and 1/4 of a rice medley in soup, then I went straight to the frozen coconut milk dessert. had about seven bites now I'm back to the salad. Something in the back of my brain is nagging me to do a cleanse. I think I will.

I'm also stressing over a wedding I'm DJing this weekend. I always get nervous then it always turns out alright. It's just the people who drink too much and demand music I don't have that bugs me. Sometimes it's life or death with these people. I thought I'd get assaulted for not having Earth Wind and Fire at one wedding. Seriously.

I'll live. More asana and meditation. It is a savior. I'm going to drive my butt up in two hours and I will feel better, dammit.

Smobergirl

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