@!$#%

I slipped. I was going to come on here and lie to you, but I couldn't. I was going crazy and I have an AA list of phone numbers that I didn't call. As an alcoholic, when you don't get what you want you go through this emotional pain that really won't kill you, but sometimes you think it will. It sure filled the void last night, but today and EVERY DAY AFTER, no fail I feel guilty, ashamed, stupid.......ah the life of an addict.

So let's start over, shall we?

I woke up at 8 this morning with no hangover, just the guilt. ( I 'only' had four glasses of wine and 9 Nat Shermans. I made the excuse of that there were no additives in that tobacco, and that I'd cut down on the wine. Then I viewed that Modern Marvels video again today, and there is not going to be such a thing as one glass of wine for me.) I rode to the farmer's market on my bicycle and got some goodies. I found them most adorable baby carrots and tiny cherry tomatoes, wasabi hummus, jalepeno goat cheese from Drake Family Farms, www.drakefamilyfarms.com and some glass hair clips that my friend Sarinda Jones made. Look for her at the down town farmer's market on Saturdays, Reflective Art Studio, www.reflectiveartstudio.com.

I had 8 oz of pomegranate juice, 8 oz of black iced coffee, and a handful of blueberries for breakfast. For lunch I made zuccini "noodles" from a spiral slicer, over a bed of arugula. I put leftover guac and the hummus on top, with the cherry tomatoes and chopped purple tomatillos from a previous farmer's market. I also had another raw corn cob with olive oil, cracked peper, and cayenne salt.

I hope you can still believe in me.

Love,

Smobergirl