Yesterday morning I felt refreshed, happy, and had a spring in my step. Last night I had four bon bons (do people say bon bons anymore?) and Indian food, got upset about something I didn't need to, and I felt crappy and unhopeful this morning. I did a mood worksheet and I'm fine now, just not ecstatic like I was yesterday. I had a wonderful day. I was productive, I did pilates which was incredibly fun (although my inner thighs are paying for it), and I won about $50 worth of chocolates from a company who makes chocolate look like art and uses quality ingredients. What bugged me last night was that I was invited to go out to dinner with friends to a new Indian restaurant which I had a coupon for (more happiness) and it was 92 degrees outside so I brought my chocolates in. I got stares at the box, so being generous I shared. The upsetting thing was one friend took six while everyone else took one or none. It's just silly, but I think most of us have been there. Now I just laugh it off saying well at least I saved about 1000 calories, plus I still have plenty left. However importantly this goes back to memories of being taken advantage of. I always expected friends to take one or a little, when they take more, all, or break into my parent's liquor cabinet without my permission and drink an entire bottle of Kahlua and I have to buy another one to save my butt. Whew!
Being taken advantage of. Well my shrink had addressed this already and gave me How To Be Assertive worksheets. It's unreasonable for me to play victim all of the time. Most of my life it has been one of my greatest talents. I'm not alone when it comes to people wanting or taking of course, and for the record my chocolate-loving friend is one of my really good buddies and she has been generous to me in the past, so I had no right to get upset. I'm talking about people who ask to borrow $6000 because that friend is wealthy. Wealth very well causes more problems because some people will want it or think that the wealthy can afford to lend $6000. Or people wanting to use their swimming pool, or have a concert in their big home. You feel a little used. These are people who I know personally who get irritated when people ask them these things.
Wow. I didn't expect to talk about that today. I just wished I felt like yesterday morning. Is it because I ate so clean then put sugar, bread, oil, and cheese into my body all of a sudden? Was it my upset? Or am I still emotionally detoxing? Was it because I didn't watch Dr. Dyer? LOL. I will tell you this which I've said before. Life is much better with out smoking and alcohol. My puffy face is already down after almost three weeks, my back is actually, say it Timberlake! My thighs are cut (and sore), I love eating raw and clean and I'm back into it having another pineapple-cilantro smoothie this morning. I just had a hard-boied local farm egg and I'll shower, do more pilates, then teach a friend yoga. More karma today speaking of yoga. A yoga studio owner found me on FB and wants me still to sub in her studio. You know what would raise my self-esteem? Getting better in yoga and teaching more, becoming a good example for all around me. Yoga has taught me to love all, relax, and be happier as well as being more flexible and doing cool tricks. Yeah I would still like to be in a workout video. Ha we'll see.
Peace and love and don't feel taken advantage of.
That was meant to rhyme.
Tee hee.
Smobergirl
Day 20
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