Under pressure

My blood pressure is low, too low. Under 100 low. So I need to do some detective work. Could be the rabbit diet, the meds...I am getting enough sleep and exercising but I feel lethargic. I was rejected at ARUP trying to donate blood, that's how I found out. Anorexic diet no worky. I went vegan once and felt great but I ate a lot, including breads and wheat. Okay I have a confession, and I hope this is a lesson to all women with eating disorders. I was living on smoothies and salads 90% of the time for the last three weeks. I wonder why I'm so tired. I'm not a horse, I can't eat grass all day. My 'fat arms' were going down and I got hooked on eating only raw fruits and vegetables. For one, I made a drastic change there my friends. I never thought I'd ever, ever have an eating disorder. Am I getting my panties in a wad because I hardly had a pulse? Quitting smoking will lower your blood pressure, it happened to me before, but it was normal, not 80-something. I drink a ton of coffee and you'd think it would raise, but I am also dehydated. Lesson #1, maybe water-based foods aren't enough. Maybe coffee is too strong. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm not. I just want a perfect, healthy diet and yeah I want to look sexy. I'm 41 and since high school I've felt fat and dorky. Yes I'm also going back to the 'stupid' thing. I want to look mature and hot to look up for it, not like a 15-yr old with baby fat-looking skin. Yes, I'm on my period, which makes me want to get on Depo again, but I felt good when I got off of it during my 8-month quit. I think I'm just sad. I have been moping about, and not getting that much exercise lately, really. Maybe I'm not being active enough. Maybe I'm being a sloth.

I have been quit exactly a month today. Woo. I ate, vegan gluten-free food, but I feel better. I'll go out and get something more substantial.

Love,

Smobergirl

Day 31