I wasn't being sarcastic. Antabuse is saving my ass. I do feel like two different people. At night, and it's only about once a week now, the party animal/lonely wino/demon whatever you call it comes out. And nowadays in the morning I thank my lucky stars not only that I didn't give in but couldn't, unless I wanted to get insanely ill. More appropriately I'd call it the issue monster. It's all in my brain and I need to be more realistic sometimes. My "issues" are loneliness, regret, not feeling good enough, and looks mostly. Not enough to get my granny panties all up in a wad. I look fine, we all make mistakes, being single has fabulous benefits, and I am good enough strong enough and dog gone it people like me. Also I wouldn't be weight lifting and painting my ass off if I was drinking, and those outlets are greatly relieving my stress. Lesson #1: If you quit any long term habit and god forbid two at the same time, you probably will go a little nuts for a while. Lesson # 2: Exercise, throwing tantrums, eating mood-boosting fruits and calming foods like pistachios and avocados, maybe not O.D.ing on iced coffee so much, and getting a hobby seriously help on the rollercoaster ride.

Love,

Smobergirl