Stuff...

Gosh dangit all to freakin heck. I've been in this funk all facking week. Detoxing? Pills? Just going nuts?? Death from smobering?

The observer in me wants to believe that this is the crazy emotional part of an early detox. I have been smoking and drinking since I was 24, bingeing since I was 31. So I'm trying not to act so shocked. Today I cried, didn't feel good enough, freaked out at my relaxed hair which is actually what I wanted (it's 1000% easier than my crazy German messy hair, and worst case it will come back if I miss it), whined that I'm a spoiled brat, whined I'm not 'normal', blah blah blah. Okay. Breathe...


Other than that, I had a great morning!! I woke up at 7:45 AWAKE AND REFRESHED (surprise....and finally), went to Power 1 & 2 at 8:30 and felt liberated. I had a cup of fresh pineapple and grapefruit, raw tacos, and 2 oz. leftover steak which went mostly to the beggars (the cats). Took another drive to Park City and the first emotional wave came up on the drive back. Then I had more steak, cucumber slices, and a beautiful little carrot, with a frozen coconut bar for dessert. Then I flopped on the Love Sac and hid under my Aunt's blanket and watched an episode of Chefs Of Beverly Hills, which portrays the clients as always hideously demanding and impossible, which made me pretty happy to live in Salt Lake, and not be a chef. Now I'm better but a little tired. I made a big pitcher of Jamiaca Red Rooibos tea, which tastes a lot like Red Zinger. I promised myself to work on the swan painting during Extreme Home Makeover tonight, which is a Sunday night ritual. Then guitar and French possibly, and probably Kundalini yoga which I did last night (really awesome) or yoga from my Lululemon "The Pursuit of Happy Hips" DVD.

Stuff definitely came out today. I hope that's a good thing. It was stuff I buried under my drinking, so I think I'm on the right path here. I learned a ton about myself this beautiful Sunday.

~Smobergirl