Breathe and chill

Inhale.... (cough)

I think I know partly why I haven't dated in two years. I'm not good enough, smart enough, and dog gone it, guys don't like me. That is not true, but I need to drop the fact that I'm worthless because I don't have a full-time job. Or do you agree? I'm hoping to at least get A job by February in the yoga field. I am also interested in a teen-audio/visual program where I can mentor. It all depends on job availability. But I really should not feel so bad? I read today unemployment went up from 27,000 to something like over 400,000 in the states? Is that right? So if I'm a bum should I feel not worthy to date? Or do I talk too much? Is it my moles? Do I smell? Am I too dramatic? Am I weird? You know what, I think I'm just sick and need to rest...because I just got a date offer today and now I'm freaking out...

...A few funny, really funny things about "I have all that I need" today. The timing may have been less than perfect though. I really wanted to go to a concert tomorrow, and just decided to buy a ticket online 15 minutes ago. Two seconds later I check my email and a friend of mine in the Utah Opera/Symphony world asks me if she could set me up on a blind date with a cello-playing friend of hers that same night because he has an extra ticket to La Boheme. I'm like GREAT! I just bought a non-refundable ticket to Jonsi. Then I thought greeeeaaat, he'll probably be really turned off by me anyway. Hmmmm, I wonder why I haven't successfully dated in 2 years. I'm such a moron. I am a moron. Please tell me I'm a self-destructive imbicile. lol So anyway, I have all that I need, again, and I didn't have to get that concert ticket. I need to work harder on universe timing. Hoo boy.

Shake: No shake. Cold and miserable so I heated up a curry from my nice neighbor. Having a home made iced coffee with a freshly ground cinnamon stick. Cinny is an immune booster, and you can grind the sticks in your coffee grinder. Magic.

Smobergirl
Day 157