What am I going to do, put a bag over my head?

I'm not going to lie. I'm depressed this morning. A guy I used to date Tweeted a little slam on the Smobergirl yesterday and I got the post in my "Mentions" column because he mentioned my username. Clever that Twitter. He was one of the victims of my drunken angry hormone rants and I totally deserve it. I did it three years ago, but I probably still deserve it. You can't turn back the past. I already apologized. I think I'm blowing things up again and thought I've ruined my reputation for good with him, my old job, and then some. I'm just not in a good mood. So I made this hearty cereal!

MACA
1/4 cup oats
1/4 cup buckwheat groats
Dash cinnamon
Chia
Flax
Hemp
Walnuts
Dried cranberry/pomegranate mix
1 fresh plum
Handful raspberries.

I also did some breathing exercises and tensed up my body and let go two times.

One of my yogi heroes Baron Baptiste Tweeted this today: "Take responsibility for your reality". Great. Well did I take responsibility for my actions? Is there any more apologizing I need to do? I did the damage. I thought I sent all the apology emails I needed to send. I just feel like I should do something else. Like wave a magic wand and make those actions disappear! j/k However, I think I blow most stuff up out of proportion, and that makes me "suffer in my own head". That's another quote from Rolf Gates, another modern yoga dude. In your reality are you going to beat yourself up all day, because you will only suffer in your head, and therefore in your life. What else am I going to do? (see headline) On a different note, you don't know how better I feel living a sober life. I mean, it's really a breath of fresh air. It is absolutely true, the longer you don't have alcohol (and/or other harmful substances) the more reasons you come up with for not wanting it. It does help having a healthy lifestyle. I start yoga teacher training tomorrow and I'm just excited to further transform my lifestyle. With the chaos that still creeps up once in a while to make me feel guilty I need to decide how it's going to effect me. That's good advice, but it's hard not to feel bad. I'm working on that. I am hoping the training will help me too.

~Smobergirl
Day 164