~Smobergirl
I.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Hopeful again.
Isn't this roller coaster fun? I found an AA chat room. They have a morning, noon, and night meeting every day, but people are in there all the time. Made Eva's brussels sprouts again and I think I'm getting closer. That, butter leaf salad with bleu cheese and pears, and popcorn was dinner. I wish I was Bruce Springsteen. I wish I could cure myself with the snap of my fingers. I wish I had a million dollars. I wish Barenaked Ladies wasn't sold out. I am thankful for all that I am and everything I have, and I want to stop being self-destructive. And I miss the cute biologist I dated in 2004. And I know I can find a cuter one. Or illustrator, or computer geek, or rocket scientist.
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There's nothing like a hug, except for maybe a good kiss - and nice hug can often be more satisfying than sex. What, you say? I would argue that hugs are more satisfying because they have less expectations, especially regarding the other person. With a hug, you aren't worrying whether you're doing it right, or if you're better at it than anyone else the other person's ever hugged, or wondering if they're going to tell their friends that your hugs take less than a minute or are so long that they become a monotonous chore. And hugs are also a lot safer. I would also argue that it's possible to hug yourself - although you might want to make sure you're behind closed doors lest you end up in the nut hatch (not sure where that term came from, but there it is...) While a self-hug is definitely not as nice as a shared one, it does afford you a good opportunity for mindfulness. Plus the psychological implications are immense - someone that can hug themselves unabashedly must surely like themselves. That being said, an electronic hug is probably the least satisfying and least personal of all - nonetheless... (( hug ))
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