Leftover fantastic butternut squash soup, hard-boiled egg, and a papaya, orange, carrot, and orange cherry tomato smoothie. I also walked 20 minutes on the tradmill, and did my 20 minute exercise with Total Body Sculpt With Gilad. I still have anxiety today and I just want to cry. Now, I'm a big analyzer, so bear with me. I just feel bad being a bum, when I can actually afford it at the moment. My father also had high expectations of us kids because he was a successful entrepreneur. When I was in college he'd hound me every week asking me what I'm going to do with my life, but I think he did it the wrong way. Instead of feeling encouraged I felt threatened. Does that make sense? Sorry, stuff is really coming out today. Which I still want to believe is a healthy sign. I'm dealing with my stuff, which I expected, and I'm not covering them up in a bottle or two of wine. And I hate cigarettes. Damn you Nat Sherman for making a pretty package and mint and vanilla flavor. I hate glamorized advertizing for toxic products. All people care about is money. If you want to make a buck, make pretty packaging for nicotine gum or granola bars or eco-fashion. I hate the tobacco companies. I was a victim for 14 years. LOL now I'm getting a literal headache getting steamed about this. Time to practice peace and meditate. At least studying nutrition makes me feel that I'm doing something. Oh and I said I'd probably paint too. ;)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Breakfast and freaking out!
Leftover fantastic butternut squash soup, hard-boiled egg, and a papaya, orange, carrot, and orange cherry tomato smoothie. I also walked 20 minutes on the tradmill, and did my 20 minute exercise with Total Body Sculpt With Gilad. I still have anxiety today and I just want to cry. Now, I'm a big analyzer, so bear with me. I just feel bad being a bum, when I can actually afford it at the moment. My father also had high expectations of us kids because he was a successful entrepreneur. When I was in college he'd hound me every week asking me what I'm going to do with my life, but I think he did it the wrong way. Instead of feeling encouraged I felt threatened. Does that make sense? Sorry, stuff is really coming out today. Which I still want to believe is a healthy sign. I'm dealing with my stuff, which I expected, and I'm not covering them up in a bottle or two of wine. And I hate cigarettes. Damn you Nat Sherman for making a pretty package and mint and vanilla flavor. I hate glamorized advertizing for toxic products. All people care about is money. If you want to make a buck, make pretty packaging for nicotine gum or granola bars or eco-fashion. I hate the tobacco companies. I was a victim for 14 years. LOL now I'm getting a literal headache getting steamed about this. Time to practice peace and meditate. At least studying nutrition makes me feel that I'm doing something. Oh and I said I'd probably paint too. ;)
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